MSDS Sheet

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MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

WOMAN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: WO (Varies HO depending on which periodic table is used)
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg but known to vary from 40-200kg.
OCCURRENCES: Migrates in clusters. Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure is applied in correct places.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, or a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly upon saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.’
2. Can be a great relaxation aid.
3. Very effective cleaning agent

TESTS:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the “natural” state.
2. Turns green when placed beside better specimen.

HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations for an indefinite amount of time so long as specimens do not come in contact with each other.

ALWAYS FOLLOW CORRECT LABORATORY TESTING PROCEDURES!

WHEN DEALING WITH LESS REFINED SPECIMENS FOR WHICH HISTORICAL DATA IS UNAVAILABLE :
ALWAYS WEAR PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT

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