Jokes News

Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion School in an advanced state of agitation. "Father!" she cried, "just WAIT until you hear this!" The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, "Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited." "Well, Father," the nun began, "I was just walking down the hall to the chapel, and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!" "A serious infraction, indeed!" said the priest. "But that's not what has me so excited, Father," replied the nun. "It was WHAT they were wagering ON! They had wagered on a contest to see who could urinate the highest on the WALL!!" "What an incredible wager!" exclaimed the priest. "What did you do?" "Well, I hit the CEILING, Father!!!"

Why are there sooooo many blonde jokes????

A: Because brunettes have nothing better to do on Saturday night.

There was a blonde driving a car, and all was going fine until the car started speeding up it hit a lot of bumps and she was thrown off , but her foot was caught in a wire her head was bouncing dangerously close to the ground. Just when she was about to give up hope, a Walmart employee came out and unplugged the car.

There was a blonde nurse that worked at a nursing home. She came into the nursing home one morning with this red permanent marker in her breast pocket.

The CNA said to her, “Why are you carrying around a red permanent marker in your pocket?”

Then she looks at the CNA and adds: “I carry around the red pen in case I have to draw blood!”

One day at a bar there was a brunette, a redhead and a natural blonde with green streaks.

This hot looking male walks into the bar and asks the brunette, “How do you keep your hair so brown?” The brunette said “It’s natural.”

So he goes on to the next girl and asks her, “How do you keep your hair so red?” The redhead replies, “It’s natural.”

Then he goes on to the girl who has blonde hair with green streaks, and he asks “How do you keep your keep your hair so green?” The natural blonde replies, “I don’t know,” and wipes her hand from her nose to her hair.

Q: What does a blonde call dark color hair dye???

A: Artificial intelligence!

Q: Why do blondes like sunroofs?

A: More “Leg” room!

What do you call a blonde in university?

LOST!!!!!!

Q: What do you call 4 blondes at the bottom of a swimming pool?

A: Air Bubbles

A flat-chested blonde wanted to have her breasts enlarged but she did not want to undergo surgery. So she consulted a witch doctor who gave her a pill to swallow. After swallowing the pill, the blonde was told by the witch doctor that what she had swallowed was a magic pill. Everytime a man would say the word ‘pardon’ to her, her breasts would grow an inch bigger.

After leaving the office of the witch doctor, the blonde bumped into a male pedestrian who said, “Pardon me, ma’am.” Immediately she felt her breasts growing an inch. The blonde was ecstatic that the magic pill was working. At a busy street corner, a hurried delivery boy bumped into her and said, “Beg your pardon, miss.” Again her breasts grew an inch bigger.

Feeling the need to celebrate, the blonde walked into a Chinese restaurant to order her favorite dish. When she was walking towards an unoccupied table, a Chinese waiter accidentally bumped into the blonde. The waiter bowed several times and said, “A thousand pardons, madam!”

The next day, the headlines read, “Chinese waiter crushed by a pair of torpedoes!”