Ween Jokes - page 21

Chemistry

A young college girl is studying in the library for a final exam when she is approached by a very tall and attractive young man. He sits down next to her and interrupts her study every five minutes or so to ask her questions. After about an hour of studying, and being interrupted, the young girl realizes that the young man is an idiot, and decides to go back to her room to study. As she stands up to leave,…

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Read JokeChemistry

Things You Learn as You Mature

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big weenie or huge…

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Read JokeThings You Learn as You Mature

naked in the rain

There was a young couple who had driven their car up to a secluded spot that overlooked the city. They made out and eventually ended up naked in the back seat of the car. It began to rain in sheets. The man said to the lady, “We should probably go before this storm gets too bad.” They climbed into the front seat and started the car. When he pushed on the gas the tires just spun and the car didn’t…

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Read Jokenaked in the rain

Old Artifact

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree. The leaf had been pressed in between pages. “Momma, look what I found”, the boy called out. “What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy’s voice he answered:…

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Read JokeOld Artifact

Chet’s Nuts

It was Christmas time and Jim wanted to buy a nice present for his girlfriend. He walked into a pet shop and walked up to the front counter. “Excuse me, sir, but do you have any special pets?” Jim asked the man “Why yes right over there.” He pointed to a small parrot perched on a wooden stick inside a cage in the corner. “His name is CHET.” “Well, what does this bird do that is so special??” Jim asked.…

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Read JokeChet’s Nuts

It wasn’t Hank Aaron….

During a long rain delay, the baseball announcer filled in some time by sharing some baseball trivia with his color man. “Know who hit the most home runs between 1955 and 1975? I’ll tell you — it was none other than Hank Aaron.” “Know who hit the most RBIs between 1955 and 1975? It was also Hank Aaron.” “And who got hit on the chin with the most balls between 1955 and 1975?” “Hank Aaron?,” ventured the color commentator. “Nope,”…

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Read JokeIt wasn’t Hank Aaron….

Accurate Description

It was lying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin. I slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. It became firm in my hand. I was turning it on. The end was wet. Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip. So I took the garden hose and watered all my flowers. (Well, just what did you THINK I was talking about!)

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Read JokeAccurate Description

The Rabbit Next Door

This is a TRUE story! These people owned a dog and their neighbor, a rabbit. When ever the neighbors put their rabbit outside, the people with a dog would have to bring their dog in. One day the people with the dog came dome and found the dog with a filthy, DEAD, rabbit in its mouth! So they did the only thing they could do, wash it, blow dry it, fluff up the fur and put it back in the…

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Read JokeThe Rabbit Next Door