Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas and she’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, “What rotten luck! What should I do now?” A man standing next to her trying to calm her down suggests, “I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?” He walks away but moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table he’s just left. Maybe she’s won! He rushes back to…
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A proctologist walks into a bank to get some cash. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulls a rectal thermometer out of his pocket and tries to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he says to the teller, “Great, just great. Some a..hole is walking around with my pen!”
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A very inebriated lady walks into a bar shortly before closing time, sits at the bar and orders, “Barbender, Barbender, I would like a Martoutsy.” The bartender brings her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. “Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy.” Again, the bartender brings her a Martini. By this time, the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on. She calls, “Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn.” Patiently, the bartender comes near her and…
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An old man was sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out “Hey boy, whatcha got there?” Boy yells back “Roll of chicken wire.” Old man says “What you gonna do with that?” Boy says “Gonna catch some chickens.” Old man yells “You damn fool, you can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!” Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening…
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A guy walks into a bar and sits down way at the end. No one else is within several yards of him, but he hears a voice. “Nice shirt.” He thinks he’s just hearing things, so he just ignores it. Again, a few minutes later, he hears the same voice say, “Nice tie.” This time, he knows what he heard so he asks the guy at the other end of the bar, “Did you hear anything?” The guy responds, “Nope.”…
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A five-year-old boy walks into his parents’ bedroom just as his full-chested mom is about to put on her bra. “What are those, Mommy?” he asks, pointing to her breasts. “Oh, those are balloons, Jimmy. When women die, they inflate and float you up to Heaven.” The following week, Jimmy runs into the kitchen where his mother is preparing lunch. “Mommy, come quick, Aunt Betty is dying!” cries the little boy. “What do you mean she’s dying??” asks Mommy. “She’s…
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A blonde walks into a store and sees a cylindrical item of the shelf. The blonde asks the clerk, “What is this item?” The clerk replies, “It’s a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” The blonde replies, “How cute, I’ll take one!” The blonde goes to work the next morning with her new thermos. A colleague walks by and says “What is that on your desk?” The blonde replies proudly, “It’s my thermos. It keeps hot…
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One day a man put his father in a rest home. His father didn’t want to be there but just to please his son he would stay there for a while. The first morning the old man woke up with a boner and immediately after he woke up a beautiful nurse pulled down his pants and started to give him the best blow job he’d ever had. As soon as she was done she cleaned up and left without saying…
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A man walks into a bar and yells, “All lawyers are jerks!” Upon hearing this a man at the other end of the bar storms up to the man and belts, “You’ve offended me!!” “Why,” the first man asked, “are you a lawyer?” “No, I’m a jerk!”
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A man walks into a store and heads straight for the counter. He orders a Polish sausage sandwich from the old lady behind the counter.. However she just stands there and says, “You must be a really dumb Pollack.” “I can’t believe you’ve made that ethnic remark! If a Jew comes in here and orders a kosher sandwich, will you call him a dumb Jew?” “Of course,” says the cranky old lady. “If an Italian walks in here and orders…
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