Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
In the days of horses and carts a couple get hitched. On the ride home after the reception, the fellows horse keeps playing up, every 100 yards or so the horse would come to a dead stop for no apparent reason. The groom jumps from the cart, walks to the horses face, holding one finger up…”That’s ONE!” he yells, and quickly remounts up onto the buggy. The bride shrugs this off, but another hundred yards down the track the horse…
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A girl walks into a tattoo shoppe and asks for a tattoo of Elvis on the inside of her left thigh. The artist said, “Elvis is my specialty, c-mon in and have a seat!!” As he finishes, she takes a look and says, “THAT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ELVIS!” He replies, “That is the best Elvis I have ever done.” She disagrees. So he offers to do a mirror image on the other leg — so he gives her one…
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Haven’t we met before? = Nice ass. I like moonlight walks on the beach. = I’m broke. I need you. = I’m getting too old to be chokin’ the chicken. It’s just orange juice…try it. = One of these, she’ll have her legs around my head. She’s a stuck-up bitch. = She won’t sleep with me. Sorry I don’t have time to make you breakfast? = Who the fuck are you? I have something to tell you. = Get tested.…
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A desperate man walks into a talent agency and starts bragging, “Boy, have I got an act for you, wait till you see this. I got a talkin’ dog!” The agent is skeptical, but his curiosity gets the better of him, so he says, “OK, bring him in.” So the dog comes in and the man says, “Ok boy, what’s on top of a house?” The dog says, “Rrrroooff!” “Good boy,” said the man, “Now how does sand paper feel?”…
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It was back in the olden times when you drove carriages not cars. A little boy and his father lived outside of the town. The father told his son, he had to go to town and sell his pet duck because they needed the money. So the little boy is walking in the town and he is looking depressed and a woman is standing on the street and notices him. She walks up to him and says, “Why don?t you…
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A gang of bikers walk into a bar and orders a few drinks each. After 10 minutes or so, one of them notices a small man, in his 30’s, slightly overweight and balding. He whispers to the others, and they all start to walk slowly over to the table at which he is sitting. Finding him vulnerable and defenseless, they begin to tease him. Some poke him with their forks, others drop their cigarettes into his coffee, all the while…
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1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…
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A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for awhile?” She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I WON’T sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and…
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A man is driving home late one night and is feeling very horny. (So, how is this different than any other time a man is driving? — Ray) Anyway, as he is passing a pumpkin patch, his mind starts to wander. He thinks to himself, you know a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there is no one around here for miles. He pulls over to the side of the road, picks out a nice juicy looking pumpkin, cuts…
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A scientist is deep in the amazon rainforest. When he walks through a native village he suddenly hears drums playing from beyond. The natives panic and run away. The scientist stops one of them and asks what’s going on. “Is bad” the man says, “Is very bad when drums stop”. And the man runs away. The scientist walks on through the (now abandoned) village when suddenly the drums stop. Quickly he jumps into one of the houses. In the house…
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