Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There was once a great actor who had a problem. He could no longer remember his lines. Finally, after many years, he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, “This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You must walk on the stage carrying a rose. Hold the rose with just one finger and your thumb to your nose. Sniff the rose deeply and then…
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A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display. The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below, the picture is titled “Got Milk?” The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled “Forgot milk”. The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache on it. It’s entitled “Not Milk”.
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A very good-looking guy walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat up every single woman who walks into the bar, without any luck. Suddenly a really ugly man, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y ugly man, walks into the bar. He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most…
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A drunk walks into a bar and orders a large beer. After a few moments he stands up and yells, “Attorney’s are assholes.” From the back of the room, another drunk stands up and says, “I resent that”. The first drunk says, “Are you an attorney?” The second drunk says, “No, I’m an asshole.”
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A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar: FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. Bartender: “Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can’t make a face while doing it. Second, there’s a ‘gator out back with a sore tooth…you have to remove…
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A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and asks for their order. The man says, “I’ll have a beer.” He turns to the ostrich and asks “What’s yours?” “I’ll have a beer too,” says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says, “That will be $3.40 please.” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man…
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Little Johnny is sitting in a buth at dairy queen all dressed up in his cowboy suit and two guns in his pocket. The waitress walks up to him and asks him what he wants he says : I want a sunday. The waitress ask if he want wip cream .he pulls his guns out of his pockets and says yeah! The waitress asks him if he wants nuts on his sunday he pulls his guns out of his pockets…
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A guy walks into a bird store, and right near the front counter is a big bird in a cage. On the cage is a note that reads: Here is Harry, the worlds most religous bird. The most religous bird? the customer asks. The store owner says, sure If you pull Harry’s left leg he will say the Hail Mary. The guy says this can’t be true, but the store owner says, go ahead and pull it. So he does,…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience, she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live. Upon her recovery, she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even has someone come in and change her…
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