Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some snacks and drinks. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantle. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in. He says, “What’s this?” She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.” He turns beet red in…
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Joey was a great guy with wonderful qualities except for unbelievably stinky feet. Sharon was a fabulous gal with everything going for her except her terrible breath. Because of these qualities neither dared to date anyone. When they met, however, they knew they were right for each other. As the relationship grew neither could reveal their embarrasing features to each other. When Joey wanted to kiss her, Sharon would decline. Sharon would want to take long walks on the beach…
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Jill goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Jill walks over to the artist and says, “I don’t understand your paintings.” “I paint what I feel inside me,” explains the artist. Jill says, “Have you ever tried Alka-Seltzer?”
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Cindarella was getting old, 75 years, and very wrinkly. One day the fairy god mother came to visit. “Having a good life aren’t you.? I shall grant you three wishes.” For her first wish she wishes to be rich. instantly here chair is turned to gold and as she jumped up, her cat jumped off her lap. for her second wish she wishes, she wished to be young and beautiful. She was turned into a beautiful young woman. for her…
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1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 3. Twitch a lot. 4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 6. Become a subgenius. 7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG. 8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat.…
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A man walks into a pet store with a parrot sitting on his shoulder. He asks the clerk if he sells bird seed. The man says, “We’re all out, come back tomorrow.” He walks back in the next day and asks the same question. The clerk says, “Come back tomorrow.” He comes back the next day and asks, “Do you stuff birds?” The clerk says, “Yeah, I stuff birds.” The old man throws his dead parrot on the counter and…
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A nerdy guy walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a couple of drinks. As the bartender is handing him a beer, the guy starts poking at this hand with one finger, and then holds his hand up to his ear and starts talking to it. The bartender is quite bewildered by this, so he says, “What are you doing?” “Well,” says the nerdy guy,” I am a CEO for a top telecommunications company. I have a digital…
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A doctor walks up to a teller to pay a bill at the bank. He reaches into his top pocket to pull out a pen to sign a cheque but instead pulls out a rectal thermometer. The teller looks at him strangely as the doctorsays, “some asshole has got my pen.”
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a man takes his dog to the vet and asks why he is so ill.The vet replies your dog is very old,i think we’ll have to put him down.The man says,ive had him fifteen years,hes my best buddy,i want some tests done! The vet replies,okay we’ll give him a blood test. The results come back suggesting the dog has to be put down and the vet tells him this.The man says i’m not happy about it,can we run more tests?…
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A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee queer. The bartender looks up and says, “You aint from around here, are ya??? Where ya from, boy?” The guy says, “I’m from Iowa.” The bartender asks, “What the heck you do in Iowa?” The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.” The bartender asks, “A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?” The…
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