Th th th Jokes - page 385

Bunga

Some explorers are hiking through a jungle in Africa. They come upon a tribe which frowns on trespassers. “We have two forms of punishment for trespassers,” the tribe leader anounces, “Death… or Bunga.” The first explorer says, “Well I don’t want to die, I choose Bunga, whatever that is.” So then, every man in the tribe whips off their clothes, and has sex with him until he is dead. The next explorer, surprised, says, “Well if I’m going to die…

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Asshole Stretcher

A man was driving across the Golden Gate Bridge when he was pulled over by an officer. The office comes up to the man’s window and says, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know how fast you were going?” The man replies, “Obviously over 55.” The officer was checking out the man and his car when he says, “What the hell is a bum looking guy like you doing driving a fancy, expensive car like this? What do you do…

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Rabbit in Fwidge

A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. “What are you doing in there?” she asked. The rabbit replied, “This is a Westinghouse, isn’t it? “Yes,” said the lady. “Well,” the rabbit said, “I’m westing.”

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Sharp as a crayon

I went to the psychiatrist the other day. He handed me a piece of paper and a pencil and said, “Draw me something.” I said, “Like what?” “Something you can’t verbalize.” So after about ten minutes I handed him the paper and pencil back. “There’s nothing on this paper,” he said. “Yeah, I know,” I said. “I drew a blank.”

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Dead Lawyers

A guy phones a law office and says: “I want to speak to my lawyer.” The receptionist replies, “I’m sorry but he died last week.” The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, “I told you yesterday, he died last week.” The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, “I keep telling you that your lawyer…

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A Baseball Hero (Sort Of…)

Coming home from his Little League championship game, Chuck was all smiles when he was greeted by his Dad who asked, “How did you do in your championship game, son?” “Great, Dad!” exclaimed Chuck. “I was responsible for the winning run!” “Really? That’s great news!” remarked his Dad. “How did you do it, son?” “I dropped the ball.”

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Old man and a punker

An old man was riding a bus when it pulled to stop for new riders. A punker got on with spiked, yellow-blue and green hair, earrings in the eyes, ears and nose, and tattoos all over his body. The only seat available was right across from the old man. The old man was staring at the punker and after a few minutes the punker hollered, ?Hey you old fart, what are you staring at?? He replied, ? I was in…

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Forest Rangers and Drugs

The State of Florida had a problem. The drug busts over the years had filled their storage areas with marijuana. It was decided that their only option was to burn all of the marijuana on hand. On that eventful day, a huge mound of marijuana was torched. The fire raged, and the smoke of the weed lifted in a large cloud. Just at this time, a flock of terns flew though this cloud. A group of forest rangers (aka their…

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