Fart in a lift
Father Christmas, the tooth fairy, the perfect man and the perfect woman in a lift. Someone farts, who is it? The perfect man because the other three don’t exist.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Th th th Jokes - page 203
Musta been Sex
Two builders were working on the 48th floor of a skyscraper. One turns to the other and says, ” Damn, I gotta take a piss.” The other guy tells him to go ahead. The first guy says,”hell, we’re on the 48th floor. By the time I get to the ground, I’ll have pissed my pants.” The second guy looks around and spots a plank about twelve feet long, and gets an idea. He tells the first guy, “Hey, listen. I’ll…
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Bowling Ball
What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
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Lessons from Noah’s Ark
ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM NOAH’S ARK 1 Don’t miss the boat. 2 Don’t forget we are all in the same boat. 3 Plan ahead, it wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark. 4 Stay fit-when you are 600 years old, someone might just ask you to do something really big. 5 Don’t listen to critics, just get on with what has to be done. 6 For safety’s sake, travel in pairs. 7 Two…
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two bums
So this lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out…caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. But…
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Maria’s Wedding Night
The Italian virgin Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother’s house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her: “Don’t worry, Maria. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take care of you.” So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, “Mama, Mama, Tony’s…
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Give a dog a bone
Q: What’s the best way to give your dog a bone? A: Tickle his balls!
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Jesse
Question: What was Jesse Jackson’s response when asked about DEFENSE? Answer: I think we’ll paint it white.
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Little Johnny’s First Shower
Little Johnny was getting ready for his bath one night, when he asked his mom if he could take a shower like the grown-ups do. “Alright,” his mom said, “but I’ve got to take it with you, cause you’re too little.” In the shower, Little Johnny pointed to his mother’s chest and said,”What are those, mommy?” “These are my headlights, Johnny.” “Then what is that?” he said pointing down there. “That’s the grass,” said his mother. Johnny thought nothing of…
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TGIF
A man walks in to an elevator with a blonde already in it. She looks at him and says T-G-I-F (only letters). He says S-H-I-T (only letters). Then she says again T-G-I-F (only letters). She tries one more time but this time she puts on a great big smile trying to be nice and says, “T-G-I-F.” Then he looks at her and puts on a great big smile too, and says, “S-H-I-T.” She finally decides to tell the man what…
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