Th th th Jokes - page 206

You got fucked

This guy walked into a bar a nude bar he sat down at the counter and told the bartender he wanted to get fucked. This guy was 30 years old and still a virgin, pretty damn pathetic if you ask me. Anyway this man was somewhat desperate. So he asks the bartender where he could go to get fucked. The bartender pauses for a moment (seeing how desprate this guy is) and he gives the guy an address to go…

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Blonde at her first football game

A blonde goes to her first football game with her boyfriend. At halftime her boyfriend asks her, “So what do you think?” The blonde replies “It’s pretty cool but I don’t get why they are fighting over a quarter” he asks, “What do you mean?” She answers, “Every time one of the teams has the ball the other is yelling, “GET THE QUARTER BACK!”

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Two elderly, excited women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of lust, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs…”AMEN, BROTHER!” When the preacher condemned the sin of stealing, they yelled again…”PREACH IT, REVEREND!” And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying…they jumped to their feet and screamed, “RIGHT ON, BROTHER…TELL IT LIKE IT IS…AMEN!” But when the preacher condemned the sin…

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No Offense, West Virginians

A West Virginia State trooper pulls over a pickupon I-79. He says to the driver, “Got any ID?” The driver says, “‘Bout what?” ———————————— Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 West Virginia State Lottery? A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years. ———————————— Q: Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to southern West Virginia? A: He heard that everyone has the same DNA. ———————————— Q: Did you hear that the governor’s mansion in Charleston, WV…

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Lessons I’ve Learned

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big dick or huge tits. I’ve…

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