Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could expect from jump school. “Well,” he said, “it’s three weeks long.” “What else?” I asked. “The first week, they separate the men from the boys,” he said. “The second week, they separate the men from the fools.” “And the third week?” I asked. “The third week, the fools jump.”
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Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
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I was coming home from the airport when my mother asked me, “Did you have fun at your Aunt Agatha’s?” “Yes,” I answered, “the food was great, I met a nice man, I read a cool article in a magazine and I saw a movie, then something happened that ruined the whole trip.” “What?” asked my mother. “I got there.”
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Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By surprising coincidence both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. “Oh, my,” said the bunny, “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been blind…
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While a book reviewer for The New Yorker, Dorthy Parker went on her honeymoon. Her editor, Harold Ross, began pressuring her for her belated copy. She replied, “Too fucking busy and vice versa.”
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An attorney had just finished a consultation with an elderly, nearly blind widow, for which he charged her $100. The widow opened her purse and removed a $100 bill. When the lawyer accepted it, he noticed there was another $100 bill stuck to it. Immediately the lawyer’s keen legal mind realized he was faced with a vital ethical question: Should he tell his partner?
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The world’s greatest charade player brags that he can guess any charade. A TV producer decides to use the charade player in a TV special. He issues a challenge offering the charade player a million dollars to guess a very hard charade on television. The Charade player agrees. Comes the big night, all the world is watching. The charade player is sitting on stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens to reveal seven nude young…
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Memo to all students: In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T.…
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Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,why don’t you just keep the ones you have now? Jane Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? Nan Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? Neil Dear God, Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed…
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An old lady tells her pastor, “I’m a very active old lady. I meet with three men every day.” To this the pastor exclaims, “Three! Well, who are these lucky men?” “Well, I wake up and Will Power is there to help me to wake up. During the day, he stays with me, until Arthur Itis comes in. He is very active, and we move from joint to joint. Then, Ben Gay and I live it up in bed for…
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