Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young kid asks his dad if he can borrow the car for the night so his dad lets him have the car and tells him to be careful. About 4 hours later the kid comes home and has 3 flat tires and he is a bit upset. His dad asks what’s wrong so the kid shows his dad the tires. His dad examined the tires and pulled a piece of glass from a beer bottle out of one of…
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Little Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. “Did you get that for your birthday?” he asked. “Nope,” Jimmy replied. “Well did you get it for Christmas then?” Little Johnny asked. “Nope.” “You didn’t steal it, did you?” “No,” said Jimmy. “I went into Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night when they were ‘doing the nasty’. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.”…
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Son: Dad, do you think that the American Indians were superior to the white men who took this land from them? Father: You bet. When the Indians were the sole occupants of this land, they had no taxes, no national debt, no centralized government, no military draft, no foreign aid programs, no banks, no stock markets, no nuclear weapons, and their women did all the work. What could be more superior than that?
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Here’s a nasty limerick: Miss Mary Brown said no man could lay her down, but over the hill came piss pot Pete with twenty pounds of swinging meat. He laid her on the grass and put it in her ass, but she blew a fart that knocked his balls apart Back over the hill went piss pot Peete with twenty pounds of shredded beef!
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Dear Friends, This letter is being sent to you for I know that you are certainly interested in your lawn. The spring season is about to arrive, and it is time to act if you want a truly spectacular lawn this summer. This is a fertilizer chain letter. It will cost you nothing. Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address of the person on the top of this list and shit on their front lawn. You will not…
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Over the years, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line staff have had their share of memorable calls — inquiries that stand out from the crowd because they’re heartwarming or amusing. We asked some of the veteran staff members to tell us their favorites; plus, we rounded up a bunch of our own personal favorites from the Talk-Line archives. Its hard to beat the call from a trucker who planned to cook his Thanksgiving turkey on the engine of his truck (“Will it…
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A gang of bikers walk into a bar and orders a few drinks each. After 10 minutes or so, one of them notices a small man, in his 30’s, slightly overweight and balding. He whispers to the others, and they all start to walk slowly over to the table at which he is sitting. Finding him vulnerable and defenseless, they begin to tease him. Some poke him with their forks, others drop their cigarettes into his coffee, all the while…
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Fireman comes home from work talking about the new system they have a work. 1 Bell, put on their clothes, 2 Bells, slide down the pole, 3 Bells, Jump on the truck and ride to the Fire. The wife says, “That sounds good, why don’t we set up something at home?” They do. The next day he comes home and decides to try the system. 1 Bell, they jump out of their clothes, 2 Bells, they jump in the bed,…
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INNER SKELETON A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body. FEMALE SOFA A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in the hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under…
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After ten years of incarceration in an insane asylum, the remarkable Ralph Tibney seemed to have made a remarkable recovery. “While you were here,” the doctor said, “you actually acquired a doctorate in chemistry. If I recommend that you be released, what do you plan to do?” “I plan to go to work doing R&D for a major corporation.” “Good…and if you can’t get a job?” “Then I’ll see if I can get a grant and open my own lab.”…
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