Co ed Jokes - page 378

Football

Football…. An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man cut a fart and says “seven points.” His wife rolls over and asks, “What in the world was that?” The old man says, “Touchdown, I’m ahead 7 to nothing. “A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie, score.” After about ten minutes later he old man farts again and says, Touchdown I’m ahead…

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MEGA NOVICE #3

Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer rather badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape?

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Sore Testicles

There was a midget who complained to his buddy that his testicles ached all the time. As he was always complaining about his problem, his friend suggested that he go to the doctor and see what he could do to relieve the problem. The midget took his advice and went to the doctor. The doctor told him to drop his pants, and he would have a look. The midget did this, and the doctor put him up onto the examining…

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Lost Wife

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

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Top ten signs you are burnt out

Top 10 Signs You’re Burnt Out… 10. You’re so tired you now answer the phone, “Hell.” 9. You’re best friend calls to ask how you’ve been and you immediately scream, “Get off by back, BITCH!” 8. Your garbage can is you’re “in” box 7. You wake up to discover that your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don’t care 6. You have so much on you’re mind that you’ve forgotten how to pee 5.…

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Per-PET-ual Motion

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, “Come on, a dog?” The owner says, “How about a cat?” The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can’t do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!” The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, “I’ve got it! A centipede!” The man says, “A…

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Lil Johnny

Lil’ Johnny on Politics Lil’ Johnny goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny- well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we’ll call him The…

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bumper stickers

you ever see those bumper stickers that say: “my teen son is an honor student at polk high school. I think they should be more true to life. “My child molester teen is enrolled at the Michael jackson university of Molesting arts ” “I am a proud father of Inmate #ymenjail666 at the Appalachian county juvenile detention center”. “I am aproud father of an aids infested, cross-dressing, ufo believing ,crack head at I am always high school”. “My 13 year…

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