Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. “Hungry, Seymour?” the Lord asked. “I could eat,” said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka. The next day, the Lord again asked Seymour if he were hungry, and Seymour again…
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A jumbo jet took off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH NO!!!” Silence followed and after a few anxious minutes, the pilot came back on the…
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A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission, he needed to find the restroom in the worst way, so he hurriedly left the auditorium. He searched in vain for one and couldn’t locate any. Finally, he stumbled across a beautiful fountain with foliage, and since nobody was watching, he decided to relieve himself right there. When he made it back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun. He searched in the dark until…
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Three men die in a car accident. They all find themselves at the pearly gates, waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something that represents “Christmas.” The first man searches his pockets and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cookie, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of panties. Confused at this last gesture, the angel asks, “How do these represent…
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Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken, the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.The Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President’s staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field…
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The Rosenthals had an outstandingly happy and successful marriage, and Mr. Rosenthal was once asked to what he attributed this remarkable situation. “It’s simple,” he said. “Division of labor. My wife makes all the small, routine decisions. She decides what house we buy, when we need new cars, where we go on vacation, whether the kids go to private schools, if I should change my job, and so on.” “And you?” “I make the big, fundamental decisions. I decide if…
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Adam was getting a little lonely in the Garden of Eden, so God came to him and said that he would make him a partner. Adam, being somewhat skeptical, asked what the partner would do for him. God said that the partner would make him happy when he was sad and raise his spirits when he was down. The partner would clean for him, cook for him, provide him with children, and do many things to make life more fulfilling.…
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Q. Why did the blonde sell her car? A. She needed gas money.
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One day a twenty-something man stepped out of the shower and caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He said to himself, “Hmmm – you know, if it weren’t for these tan lines, I’d have a great tan.” Unfortunately, this guy is too shy to go to a nude beach. But he is determined to have an even all-over tan. He begins to scout of isolated beaches, and he finally discovers one which is almost inaccessible. He decides that the…
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Question: What happened to the woman when the two gay guys jumped her? Answer: One held her down, while the other did her hair.
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