Museum Visit
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. “This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?” “No, Madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.”
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. “This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?” “No, Madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.”
Stuck in a strange city by bad weather, the drinker was bored. He sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation, turned to the bartender and said, “Hey, about those Democrats in Congress…” “Stop–I don’t permit talk about politics in my bar!” interrupted the bartender. A few minutes later, the gent tried again, “People say that the Pope…” “Whoa, no religious talk either,” the bartender cut in. “Look, how about sex? Can I talk sex?” “Sure,” said…
One day a policeman stopped a motorist who had just gone through a four-way stop sign and was about to give him a ticket. The motorist said, “Officer, you can’t give me a ticket for that!” “Why not?” said the officer. “Because, although I did not stop completely, I slowed down a lot, and it’s almost the same.” “But the way was clear, and it was safe,” replied the motorist. The officer then pulls out his baton and starts hitting…
What do you call a small Eskimo with a hard-on? A fridged midget with a ridged digit.
A man went into the proctologist’s office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. When the man sat down in the examination room, he noticed that there were three items on a stand next to the doctor’s desk: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer. When the doctor came in, the man said, “Look Doc,…
Who Is God? The little kid comes to his father: Kid: Daddy, is God a man or a woman? Dad: Both son, God is both. After a while the kid comes again: Kid: Daddy, is God black or white? Dad: (after thinking for a while) Both darling, both. After a few minutes the kid comes again: Kid: Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?
RESEARCHERS BAFFLED The U.S. Navy Medical Corps has concluded an extensive pharmaceutical study in which an equal number of sailors and marines were administered weekly doses of Viagra. Researchers are at a loss to explain why all of the sailors achieved enhanced sexual prowess, while the Marines simply grew taller.
A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans yelling ?run… run!? The next batter connects heavily with the ball. The Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent, ?R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!? A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams ?R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!? The next batter…
THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE AGE DRINK 17 beer 25 bourbon 35 vodka 48 double vodka 66 Maalox AGE SEDUCTION LINE 17 My parents are away for the weekend. 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend. 48 My wife is away for the weekend. 66 My second wife is dead. AGE FAVORITE SPORT 17 sex 25 sex 35 sex 48 sex 66 napping AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 tongue…
“Good morning class! Today we are learning about human organs that come in pairs,” says the teacher. “For example, our eyes are organs and we have two, now give me some more examples. Let’s start with Linda.” “Ears!” says Linda excitedly. “Very good,” replies the teacher. “Michael?” “Balls,” replies Michael The teacher is a little surprised by Michael’s crudeness, but accepts his answer. “Yes, little Johnny?” “The penis,” says little Johnny. “Hey wait a minute, we only have one penis!”…