Th th th Jokes - page 430

Two college football players named Bubba and Jed were taking an exam in English Literature. They must pass this exam in order to fulfill the academic requirement. If they fail, they would be dropped from the college varsity team for the whole season. The exam was relatively easy as it consisted mainly of fill-in-the-blank type of answers. However, Bubba was stumped by one particular item. The statement read “Complete the nursery phrase … Ol’ MacDonald had a ______.” Trying as…

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A Father is asked by his friend, “Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?” “Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector,” he replies. To this his friend responds “Strange ambition to have for a career.” “Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!”

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A little girl sits upon Santa’s lap and he asks her what she would like to have for Christmas. The little girl replies, “a G.I. Joe doll and a Barbie.” Santa says, “doesn’t Ken come with Barbie?” The little replies, “No, she comes with G.I. Joe, she only fakes it with Ken!”

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Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word “fuck.” Out of all the English words that begin with the letter “F”, fuck is the only word that is referred to as the “f” word. It’s one magical word. Just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate, and love. Fuck, as most words in the English language, is derived from German — the word ‘flicken’ which means to strike. In English fuck…

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Two women met for the first time since graduating from High School. One asked the other, “Have you managed to live a well-planned life?” “Oh yes!” said her friend. “First I married a millionaire, then an actor. My third marriage was to a preacher and now I’m married to an undertaker.” “What do all those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?” “One for the money, Two for the show, Three to get ready, and Four to go.”

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Mother and Daughter were walking down the beach early one morning. The Daughter said, “Mom when will I know when its time for me to use a douche?” The mother said, “I don’t know dear, why don’t you ask those seagulls behind you.”

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HER STORY: He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn’t say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. So we went to this restaurant and he’s STILL acting a bit funny and I’m trying to cheer him up and start to wonder…

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