Th th th Jokes - page 381

photo finish

A man moves into a nudist colony. Sometime later, he receives a letter from his mother asking for a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let his mother know that he now lives in a nudist colony, he takes a photo of himself, cuts it in half, and sends her the top piece. A few weeks later, he receives another letter from his mother, this time asking him to send a picture to his grandmother…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokephoto finish

American in Germany

An American tourist was visiting West Germany. Before returning home he decided to pay a visit to the red-light district of Munich. After enjoying the delights of one of the red-light’s buxom blondes he left immediately, without paying any money. “What about the marks?” cried the prostitute. “Oh yes. Ten out of ten!” he replied.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAmerican in Germany

He finally got it

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter, then started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, “You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?” She answered herself by saying, “I bought it with the insurance money!” She then said, “Irving, remember that new car you promised me?” She answered again, saying,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHe finally got it

Accurate Description

It was lying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin. I slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. It became firm in my hand. I was turning it on. The end was wet. Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip. So I took the garden hose and watered all my flowers. (Well, just what did you THINK I was talking about!)

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAccurate Description

Stork Difference

On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long time. He waved, jumped up and down and stared at the stork awhile longer. Finally, turning to his father, he exclaimed, “Gee, Dad, he doesn’t even recognize me!”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeStork Difference

Newlyweds’ First Meal

The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. “Whatever could have happened?” he thinks, “Who died?” “Darling, whatever is the matter?” he asks. “Sweetheart,” she sobs, “the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering it,” she sobbed again, “I found that the cat had…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNewlyweds’ First Meal

Mules, Dogs, Monkeys & Men

God created the mule and told him, “you are mule. You will work constantly from dawn to dusk, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years.” The mule answered, “To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 30.” And it was so. Then God created the dog and told him, “You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMules, Dogs, Monkeys & Men