head nurse
Q. How can you tell when you have the head nurse? A. She has dirty knees.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Th th th Jokes - page 208
MUST-SEE TV IN IRAQ:
1. Husseinfeld 2. Mad About Everything 3. Allah McBeal 4. Wheel of Fortune and Terror 5. Achmed’s Creek 6. The Price is Right If Saddam Says it’s Right 7. Children Are Forbidden From Saying Darned Near Anything 8. The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show 9. Buffy the Slayer of American Imperialist Dogs 10. Suddenly Sanctions
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steering wheel
How did the blonde get her head stuck in the steering wheel? A: She tried to blow the horn.
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Male Bashing
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough. Q: Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A: Because if they all went, it would be Hell. Q: Why do men like smart women? A: Opposites attract. Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They’re hard to…
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Measurements
A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So, they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures. Soon, they’re falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures…the whole thing is just a mess. An engineer comes along and sees what they’re trying to do. He casually pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it down on the ground, and measures it from end to end. Then he gives the…
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Border Crossing 2
One day at the border the border guards noticed a huge group of mexicans that were crossing the border in pairs. The guards went down to investigate and asked one man what was going on here. The man said,” Well that sign says (NO TRESpassing)”
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Italian Rednecks….
How do you know you’re a redneck? Well, answer this question. Does the closest Italian restaurant to you have a big sign that says SPECIALS: Turkey platter with baked potato, Liver & onions, hot dog, or 96-ounce STEAK!!!
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Baby Kittens
A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. “How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it was printed on the bottom.”
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Endangered Woodlands
A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In…
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Poor Jim
Setting: A doctor and another man are standing over a bandaged man in a hospital bed talking. “So Doc, it was like this. Me and Jim were walking down this dirt road and all of a sudden we see this giant gorilla just laying there.” “The last thing out of Jim’s mouth was: ‘I wonder if it’s dead, or just asleep.’”
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