Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man was driving across the Golden Gate Bridge when he was pulled over by an officer. The office comes up to the man’s window and says, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know how fast you were going?” The man replies, “Obviously over 55.” The officer was checking out the man and his car when he says, “What the hell is a bum looking guy like you doing driving a fancy, expensive car like this? What do you do…
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1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me. 2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday? 3. Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head? 4. Can you believe it! Those shitheads at the corner market won’t cash my welfare check! 5. We’re going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times. 6. Those home pregnancy kits aren’t very reliable in my opinion.…
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Soon after marriage, Terri’s husband, Colby, stopped wearing his wedding ring. Terri asked, “Why don’t you ever wear your wedding band anymore?” Colby replied, “It cuts off my circulation.” Terri answered back, “It’s supposed to.”
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The State of Florida had a problem. The drug busts over the years had filled their storage areas with marijuana. It was decided that their only option was to burn all of the marijuana on hand. On that eventful day, a huge mound of marijuana was torched. The fire raged, and the smoke of the weed lifted in a large cloud. Just at this time, a flock of terns flew though this cloud. A group of forest rangers (aka their…
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This is a true story. My sister and I spent two weeks in Paris. The locals obviously hated Americans. No matter where we went, we were subject to rude behavior from waiters, store clerks pedestrians, etc. After a while it started to irritate us. One day in Paris, my sister went shopping. She entered a store and started looking around. She was the only customer in the store. As she looked through the clothes on the rack, a clerk hurriedly…
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A little boy is sitting on a corner squashing pissants. A priest comes by asks the boy what he is doing. “Squashing pissants” the boy replies. The priest says “But son, don’t you know that everything on earth has a purpose in life.” “Not everything” says the boy. “Name three things that don’t have a purpose” asks the priest. The boy thought for a minute then said. “Tits on a nun, balls on a priest and these damn pissants.”
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Sing this to the tune of the Beatles’ “Yesterday” : Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay. Now my database has gone away. Oh I believe in yesterday. Suddenly, There’s not half the files there used to be, And there’s a milestone hanging over me The system crashed so suddenly. I pushed something wrong What it was I could not say. Now all my data’s gone and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay. Yesterday, The need for back-ups seemed so…
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A town in Poland had only one cow, and it stopped giving milk. The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2000 rubles–or one from Minsk for only 1000 rubles. So, naturally, they got the cow from Minsk. It was a great cow with a wonderful disposition, and it gave lots of milk and lots of cream. Everyone loved it dearly. The people decided they would mate the cow and get more…
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I have found the following things about dogs: They are territorial: “If it smells like me, it’s mine!” “If it even looks like mine–it’s mine!” They are possessive: “If I put it in my mouth, it’s mine!” “If I tear it into a million tiny pieces, all million pieces are mine!” They have no concept of privacy: they will urinate right in front of you without embarrassment. They will urinate in the great outdoors without shame. They will eat anything.…
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Desperately seeking technical support: I’m currently running the latest version of Girlfriend 5.0 and having some problems. I’ve been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 for years as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won’t crash if you minimize Girlfriend with the sound off, but since I can’t find the switch to turn it off, I just run them separately and it works OK. Girlfriend also seems to…
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