Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M’s (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is “MM” in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there’s no actual chicken in…
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A man took a new job as a bus driver and was given a bus with a Sesame Street advertisement on the side. At his first stop he picked up two fat Irish women who’s names both happened to be Pattie. At his next stop he picked up a man named Ross. This man felt highly of himself and insisted that everyone call him Special Ross. At the next stop was a biker who didn’t have a name, but he…
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1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of debris at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. 3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of…
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Bibi Netanyahu goes to Washington for a meeting with Bill Clinton. After dinner, Bill says to Bibi ” Well Bibi, I don’t know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all quite bright.” “How do you know?” asks Bibi. “Oh well, it’s simple”, says Bill. “They all have to take special tests before they can join the cabinet. Wait a second”. He calls Madeleine Albright over and says to her “Tell me Madeleine, who is…
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I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big weenie or huge…
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Dear Mom and Dad: It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in nothaving written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before youread on, please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY! Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when…
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There was a young couple who had driven their car up to a secluded spot that overlooked the city. They made out and eventually ended up naked in the back seat of the car. It began to rain in sheets. The man said to the lady, “We should probably go before this storm gets too bad.” They climbed into the front seat and started the car. When he pushed on the gas the tires just spun and the car didn’t…
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Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. “Oh Marie,” she said to her maid, “I believe my husband is having an affair with his secretary, and I don’t know what to do.” “I don’t believe it,” snapped Marie. “You’re just saying that to make me jealous.”
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A friend of mine calls me up almost every night now that it’s summer time, and wants to know if I’d like to go to a party and get “Sooo Wasted, guy.” It’s almost September now, and He’s STILL going out to get drunk almost every night. I finally ask him, “Man, do you get drunk ALL the time?” And he replies, “No, of course not. Only when I’m sober.”
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Support Cannibalism – EAT ME! 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park. If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit. I wasn’t born a bastard. Women like you made me this way. Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either! Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?…
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