Co ed Jokes - page 351

The Sentance

One night a married woman awoke to a moaning sound and found her husband wasn’t in bed with her. Getting worried the woman went downsairs but to no avail could she find her husband. She was ready to go back to bed when she heard the moaning sob again, only it was coming from the basement. After going down into the basement she found her husband balled up in a corner crying his eyes out. When she asked him what…

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Love of the Game

A Boston man sits on his living room couch watching the American League Championship Series between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees. In comes his wife, huffing and puffing, and stands in front of the television screen. At that exact moment, Red Sox shortstop, Nomar Garciaparra, hits a two-run homer. “Stan!” she yelled. “I think you love the Red Sox more than you love me.” “You know what?” the said, full of rage. “Right now I love…

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Good Buddy

Tony stops at his buddy Frank’s house on the way home from work. Frank’s wife Angela answers the door and says he’s not home yet but that Tony is welcome to come in and wait. She sits him down at the kitchen table so they can chat while she makes dinner. She notices Tony staring at her. “Why are you looking at me like that?” smiles Angela. “Angie, you got the greatest rack I ever saw,” says Tony. “I’ll give…

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The Therapist Golfer

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said,…

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What’s the Lesson Here

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th Grade Class about the evils of liquor, so he developed an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. “Now, Class, observe these worms closely,” said the professor, putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm was put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully for a few seconds…

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A Visit to the Biker Bar

An old woman goes into a biker bar. She demands to talk to the leader. A tough-looking bearded biker stands up. “I wanna join your gang!” she says. The biker thinks for a second. “Do you have any tatoos?” he asks. “Sure,” as she bares her arm. “Hmmm, do you have a leather jacket?” “Out on my hog,” she says. “Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?” “No, but I’ve been swung around the room by my tits!”

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Mix

*Why do Bees hum? Because they don’t know the words. *Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work. *What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A Woolly Jumper. *Why do birds fly south in autumn? Because it is too far to walk. *What is yellow and very dangerous? Sharkinfested custard. *What has an eye and doesn’t cry? A needle. * When does Thursday come before Wednesday? In a dictionary. *What has wings and…

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Jesus at the gates

St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for new arrivals. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. “Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?” “Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?” “Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven.” “Sounds easy enough. OK.” So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went…

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My Mother taught

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION… “Just wait until your father gets home.” 2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING…. “You are going to get it when we get home!” 3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE… “What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! … Don’t talk back to me” 4. My Mother taught me LOGIC… “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store…

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