Co ed Jokes - page 179

Wrong House

An old fellow was snoozing away, contentedly, when he was startled awake by the doorbell. He staggered off the couch to make his way to the door. There stood a gorgeous young woman. “Oh, my goodness,” the pretty young thing exclaimed. “I’m at the wrong house.” “Sweetheart, you’re at the right house, the old guy assured her. “But you’re forty years too late!”

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Hillbilly Ice Fishing

There were two old boys from Alabama who loved to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They’d heard the fishing was really good up in Canada, so they took off up there. The lake was nicely frozen over. They went to this bait shop to get the tackle they would need. One of them said, “Oh, and we’re gonna need an ice pick, too.” So they got that and took off. In about two hours, one of…

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before his very eyes

A highly sophisticated couple and a country couple were walking down a street when the country guy farted. The sophisticated man looked at him with a go to hell look and said, “How dare you fart before my wife!” The country boy replied, “I’m sorry, but I didn’t know she wanted to fart first!”

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More things men will NEVER say…..

1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker. 2. No I don’t want another beer. I have to work tomorrow. 3. Her tits are just too big. 4. Sometimes I just want to be held. 5. That chick on “20/20” gives me a woody. 6. Sure! I’d LOVE to wear a condom. 7. We haven’t been to the mall for ages, let’s go shopping and I can hold your purse. 8. Screw Monday Night Football; let’s watch “Ally McBeal”.…

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Their Ideal Man

A Chinese man asked his three daughters what their ideal man should be. The first daughter said, “I want a man with three dragons on his chest.” The second daughter said, “I want a man with two dragons on his arms.” The third daughter said, “I want a man with one draggin’ on the ground.”

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Drifting Off in Class

Sometimes, when I’m in class, I dream that I’m on a tropical island, with a dozen or more scantily clad females beside me, sitting under a huge palm tree, with some soft, gentle music being played on some traditional wood instruments of that region, and a cool, gentle breeze caressing my tanned body. I do all this while trying to forget I’m in a classroom. Of course, it would be so much easier if all my students weren’t waiting for…

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Canadian, Osama bin Ladin and Uncle Sam

Three guys, a Canadian, Osama bin Ladin and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give each of you each one wish, that’s three wishes total,” says the Genie. The Canadian says, “I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.” With a blink of the Genie’s eye, ‘POOF’…

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dirty pipi joke

On his third marriage already, Mr. Jones wanted to start a new life with a virginal young woman, since his marriages to worldly types were unsuccessful. He searched the country for a young innocent female — he classified by asking a simple question. Upon meeting a young lady he’d show them a picture of his member and ask them what it was. If the response was “dick” the lady was dirty and not worth marrying. After interviewing hundreds of ladies…

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Keeping up with the Jones’

A woman was having an affair when she hears a car pull into the driveway. After looking out of the window she quickly runs to the bathroom and brings out a bottle. She tells that man that her husband is home, but she has a plan. She covers him with talcum powder and advises him to stand in the corner. The woman’s husband walks into the room and looks at the man. “When did we get that statue? Gosh it…

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MAD stupid jokes!

Your momma is so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person. Your so stupid, you think Federal Express is a branch of the government. Your father is so dumb, he went to an LA Clippers game to get a haircut. Your mother is so stupid, she thinks Olde Engkish 800 is a college course. Your mother is so stupid, she tired to drown herself in a car pool. your mother is so stupid, she put your brother in…

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Read JokeMAD stupid jokes!