Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Morris walked into an insurance office and asked for a job. “We don’t need anyone,” they replied. “You can’t afford NOT to hire me. I can sell anyone anything, any time!” “Well, we have two prospects that NO ONE has been able to sell to. If you can sell to just one, you have a job.” He was gone about two hours, and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000 and another for $50,000. “How in the world…
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A young reporter for a small-town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor: “Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts.” The editor scolded the new reporter, saying, “This is a family paper. We don’t use words like ‘breasts’ around here. Now go back and write something more appropriate.” The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally,…
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A lady was exercising her dog in the park. A scumbag on a bicycle came up behind her and grabbed the carrier bag from her hand. Pedaling furiously into the distance with his prize, he was not aware of the lady rolling on the grass in fits of laughter. Like the good citizen that she was, she had been using the plastic bag to collect her dog’s poop.
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Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor. “Do you wash?” the doc asked the rank young girl. “Oh, yes,” Mary answered. “Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then, I start at my feet and wash up as far up as possible.” “Well, then,” the doc concluded, “go home and wash possible.”
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A snail bought himself a snazzy fast car but took it in to get a more eye catching color. At the car paint shop, he asked that the car be painted neon yellow and have a large red ‘S’ printed on each side. Confused, the worker asked, “Why a big ‘S’?” Grinning, the snail replied, “When people see me drive past, they’ll notice and say, ‘Hey, look at that ‘S’ car go!’”
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One day God, Jesus and Moses are playing a round of golf. Jesus and Moses have both hit respectable 250+ yard drives on a par 4 with abundant water hazards. God takes his hit; lots of power in the stroke but he hooks badly, and the ball soars toward a deep pond. As it hits the surface, a trout rises beneath it to take a fly; the ball bounces off its head and deflects into the rough. A rabbit which…
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Two men were sitting on a park bench having a conversation. “You know,” the first man said to the other, “I only need to take half of a Viagra”. “Half of a Viagra?” the second man asked, “Why only half a Viagra?” The first man replied, “It’s not that I am really interested in sex. It’s just that I was tired of peeing on my shoes!”
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An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn’t heal, and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can’t find anything wrong, so he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can’t come up with any possible explanation for the pain. The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, “I’m sorry, but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age; there’s…
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There was an old miser who was close to death. While on his deathbed, he gathered his family around to tell them his last requests. “I want one of you to take all my money and put it in a box in the attic. That way, when I die, I can take it to heaven with me.” A couple of days later, the miser died. After the funeral, the family once again gathered at the house. The widow went up…
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A young lady had just visited her doctor, and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share her good news with someone. The farmer sitting next to her seemed as good as anyone to share the good news with. “Sir,” she said, “I just received the best news…
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