Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. Everyone has a photographic memory; some don’t have film. The universe is a figment of its own imagination. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count; those who can’t. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard…
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Q: What’s the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? A: One says “Hey, you, get off of my cloud.” The other says, “Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe.” Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with…. the other is used to carry groceries. Q: How do you recycle toilet paper? A: Hang it on the wall and bash the…
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Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie’s father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, “Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.” Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “Well Johnny, you…
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An eminent heart specialist was at a glittering social function and was in animated conversation with a lovely young thing wearing a great deal of makeup and the barest minimum of clothing. It was only a few minutes too late that the good doctor became aware that his wife, whom he thought was safely in the next room, was watching him with a steely glare. Clearing his throat, the doctor said, “Ah, my dear, that young lady over there and…
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Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in…
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A man was standing on a train platform seeing the train off, and he observed someone near him shouting at one of the departing passengers, “Goodbye! Your wife is a great lay! Your wife is a great lay!” He was stunned. After the train pulled away, he walked over to the man who’d been shouting and asked, ‘Exuse me, sir. Did I hear you correctly? Did you tell that man his wife is a great lay?’ The other man shrugged.…
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Laws for women to live by: 1. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man’s mind wander – it’s too little to be out alone. 5. Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature…
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The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so she took him aside after class one day. “Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?” “I’m in love,” replied Little Johnny. Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, “With whom?” “With you!” he said. “But Little Johnny,” said the teacher gently, “don’t you see how silly that is? Sure I’d like a husband of my own someday… but I don’t want a…
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During World War II, Private Goldstein was anxious to get married before going overseas, but he was stationed in a small town in South Carolina and couldn’t get a furlough. His fiancee, Becky, was perfectly willing to come to South Carolina, and did so; but once there, a difficult problem arose. Becky was a pious girl and insisted on being married by an Orthodox Jewish rabbi. In the small town where Goldstein was stationed, however, there were no Jews, let…
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A lumber jack is at the dentist’s office for a double root canal, for which the dentist insists he must administer laughing gas ans local anesthetics. The lumber jack smiles and proudly declines the laughing gas and anesthetics and says that he can bear the pain. The dentist tells the lumber jack that the procedure is excruciatingly painful and that he has never performed it without the pain killers. Still the lumber jack insists on not receiving the painkillers. The…
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