Blond Jokes - page 21

Q: Why aren’t blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they can’t even keep two calves together.

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A blonde was driving one day. She swerves to the left then to the right. Suddenly a police officer pulls her over and askes, “What’s wrong? why do you keep swerving?” The blond replies, “I saw a tree to my right so I swerved to the left, then I saw a tree to my right so I swerved to my left.” Then the police officer says, “MA’M thats your air freshner.”

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Q: How do you tell a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies in your house? A: There are M&M shells all over your kitchen floor.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. They turn the corner and walk into a building.You think one of them whould have seen it…….

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all tried out for the same job as road stripers. The boss told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job. At the end of the first day, the redhead had painted 3 miles, the brunette had painted 2.5 miles and the blonde had painted 10 miles. The boss was so excited, he told her to keep it up and the job was hers.…

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One day a blonde was horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started going too fast and bouncing out of control. The blonde tried with all her might to hang on but soon was thrown off. With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse would not stop or even slow down. Just as the blonde was about to give up hope…

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A man is eating in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous blonde eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air. “Oh my god, I am sooo sorry,” the woman says, as she pops her eye back in place.…

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What do blondes and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? Take away the breasts and the legs, and all you have left is a dirty box.

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A blonde was cooking in her kitchen one morning and she started a grease fire (big surprise!) so she called 911 (after looking up the number of course). She finally reached the fire department and said, “Help! I have a fire, please come quickly!” The fireman responded, “Ma’am, how do we get there?” The blonde responded, “Big red truck, DUH!”

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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He’s going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, “I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, asshole. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person’s physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?…

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