Yell Jokes - page 22

The Old Couple

While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finished their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the table, but she didn’t miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he could…

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Taking Photos from the Air

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His…

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Tailspin.. .

Cindy Crawford, Ivana Trump, and Whoopi Goldberg are on a plane. The Announcement system clicks to life and the voice of the captain rings through the cabin… “Ladies and gentilemen, I am afaraid the plane has just had a major mechanical failure, and is going to crash. There are only enough parachutes for the crew and myself, and we have already used them – – This is a recording.” Everyone on the plane begins to panic! People are yelling and…

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Topless Restaurant

Friends of ours invited my wife and me out to dinner. Although it turned out to be a topless restaurant, my wife was a pretty good sport and pretended to enjoy the evening. On the way home, though, even the defrosters at full force couldn’t keep the windshield from icing over on her side of the car. “Awww, come on,” I said. “It wasn’t THAT bad.” “Your ordering what you did didn’t help matters,” she said, fuming. “What?” I replied.…

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a little blonde girl

A girl came skipping home from school one day. “Mommy Mommy”, she yelled. ” We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to ten!” “Very good”, said the mother. “Is it because I’m blonde?” asked the girl. “Yes, it’s because your blonde.” The next day the girl came skipping home from school. “Mommy Mommy”, she yelled “We were saying the alphabet today,and all the other kids said up to D but…

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The School Play

Little Billy came home form school yesterday, all excited about landing a part in the school play. He runs to his Dad yelling, “Daddy. Daddy! I got a part in the school play!!!” “That’s really great, Billy! What part are you playing?”, asked the Dad. “I’m playing the husband!”, replies Billy. Disgruntled, the Dad puts little Billy down on the floor. Sensing his father’s diappointment, little Billy asks, “Gosh, Dad what’s wrong?” “I’m sorry son”, replies the father, “maybe next…

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Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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A New House Bill

Introducing a House Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys PC 370.00 370.01 -Any person with a valid State Rodent or Snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes. 370.02 -Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited. 370.03 -The willful targeting of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in…

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Males Strike Back!!!!!!!!!!!

**How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be open by the time she brings it! **Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you! **Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink! **How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?…

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Smart seeds

A Woman is walking trough the train searching for a seat, finally she finds one and sits down. Across the woman is a man with a bag of seeds… and the man is eating the seeds one by one. Curious the woman asks: “Why are you eating seeds?” “These aren’t just seeds,” explains the man, this are seeds of the smart apple tree.. when you eat these seeds you instantly become smarter.” “WOW!” answers the woman. “Will you give me…

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