Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Grandma and Grandpa were in the doctor’s office one day. After a brief check-up, the doctor said, “You know Grandpa, you’re 98, your wife is 96, tell me …. after this many years of marriage do you two still have mutual climax?” Grandpa said, “I don’t know, I’ll have to ask grandma.” He yelled to his wife, “Grandma do we still have mutual climax?” Grandma said, “Listen, old man, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times…
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A thousand years ago in Rome a Christian man was being chased by a lion around an arena. The man cried out to God, “Dear God, please fill this lion with the spirit of Christianity.” Immediately the lion fell to his knees, and prayed, “For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful.”
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I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years: “When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance.”
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Seven-year-old little Johnny, like other boys his age, are rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from the other boys, and he wondered just what it was all about. One day he asked his mother, and she became quite flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains later that night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. So he did this, and the next morning he gave this…
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Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. “What happened to you?”…
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Stopped at traffic light, the gray beard biker stared wide-eyed at a punk rocker crossing the street in front of him. The kid was a helluva sight. The punker had green, orange, yellow, and blue hair, elaborately waxed up into tall spikes sprouting from the top of his head. Seeing the old biker staring at him, the punk rocker stopped and said, “Hey, whatcha lookin’ at, man? Didn’t you ever do anythin’ excitin’ in your life when you were younger?”…
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Q: How many Deadheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. They just follow it around for 30 years thinking it’s still lit. Q: How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 20. One to hold the bulb, and 19 to huff until the room spins. Q: How many stoners does it take to tell a good joke? A: Um… I forgot
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An 85-year-old couple, after being happily married for almost 60 years, died together in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife’s interest in health food and proper diet. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their luxury mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bedroom suite and a fancy in-house jacuzzi. The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was…
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Children’s Comments An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?” Children on Religion….. A mother…
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I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…
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