Woman woman Jokes - page 38

Weight Problem

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. “I’m so ashamed, Doctor,” she said. “I guess I’ve let myself go.” The physician was checking her eyes and ears. “Don’t feel ashamed, Miss. You don’t look that bad.” “Do you really think so, Doctor?” she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, “Of course. Not…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWeight Problem

Where did Fido go?

This important woman went to Israel. When she got off the plane, she said, “Where’s my dog? Where’s the case?” The EL-AL airline people finally find the case in the baggage room. They open it up, and the dog is dead. They’re all upset; they know the woman will kill them. They go and get the manager, and they tell him the dog is dead and the woman is carrying on, waiting for her dog. “She’s shrieking, she’s complaining; she…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhere did Fido go?

Wide Stance

Barely 20 minutes after teeing off, a woman came into the clubhouse, grimacing in pain. “What happened?” the club pro asked. “I got stung by a bee,” she replied. “Where?” “Between the first and second holes.” “Hmmm…” the pro murmured. “Sounds like your stance was a little too wide.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWide Stance

executive decision

Three women are up for promotion but the company only has one position to give. The boss decides to put an extra $100.00 in each one’s envelope to see how they react. The first woman says, “Wow, an extra $100.00! I’m going shopping!” The boss notes this. The second says, “An extra $100.00! I’m going to buy more company stock!” The boss notes this. Third says, “An extra $100.00! Payroll must have made an error. I’ll go straighten this out…

(1)Loading...

Read Jokeexecutive decision

Hair Like Yours

Jane got a new job as a stylist at a beauty salon. During her second week on the job, a bald woman walked into the salon and said to Jane. “I’ve tried everything to make my hair grow, and nothing works! I’m a rich woman–I’ll give you $25,000 if you can make my hair look just like yours.” “No problem,” said Jane, and quickly shaved her own head.

(3)Loading...

Read JokeHair Like Yours

Urine Sample

One day Mrs. Flanagan feels sickly and goes to the doctor for a look at. The doctor looks her over and says, “Well now, Mrs. Flanagan, I’m perplexed on your condition but if you bring a urine specimen to me in the morning, I can tell exactly what’s wrong.” Mrs. Flanagan went home and said to her husband, “The doctor wants me to bring him a urine specimen in the morning. I don’t know what a urine specimen is, what…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeUrine Sample

The smartest blonde.

There are three blondes washed up on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island. The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a ravishing redhead. The redhead builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeThe smartest blonde.

An Ugly Baby

A woman carrying her baby boarded a bus. When the bus driver saw the baby she was carrying, he remarked carelessly, “What an ugly baby!” Flustered, the woman hurriedly dropped her coins into the fare box and stomped angrily to the back of the bus. She took her seat beside a middle-aged clergyman who noticed that she was upset and close to tears. He asked her solicitously, “What’s the matter? Is something wrong?” “That bus driver just insulted me!” she…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeAn Ugly Baby

Hippopotamus, NY

A woman called to make reservations. “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York,” she said. The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?” “Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry, Ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country, and I can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.” The customer retored, “Oh, don’t…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHippopotamus, NY

Water Power

The new preacher, at his very first service, had a large pitcher of water and a glass on the pulpit. By the time he had made it through his long-winded sermon, he had finished off the entire pitcher of water. After the sermon, an old woman approached the new preacher. “Young man,” she exclaimed, “you’re the first windmill I’ve seen that’s powered by water!”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWater Power