Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. “The bus driver insulted me!” she fumed. The man sympathized and said, “Why, he’s a public servant and shouldn’t say…
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Sometimes the truth is more amusing than fiction…. A nurse at the beginning of the shift places her stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” instructed the nurse. “Yes, they used to be,” remorsed the patient. ********** One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more that five minutes later, I heard her reporting…
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For those of you who don’t know, Gay Head is the name of a small town on Martha’s Vineyard, now renamed to Aquinna (I can’t imagine why they renamed it). It is known for its fabulous beach and stunning red cliffs overlooking the beach. On my recent vacation, I decided to go there for the day. Feeling a little brave, I decided to head for the Northwest end of the beach. This is where bathing suits are optional. As I…
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On one BAD day, 1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale. 2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his…
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A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep. A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
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IN THE BEGINNING In the beginning there was the computer. And God said %Let there be light! #Enter user id. %God #Enter password. %Omniscient #Password incorrect. Try again. %Omnipotent #Password incorrect. Try again. %Technocrat #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. %Let there be light! #Unrecognizable command. Try again. %Create light #Done %Run heaven and earth #And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday,…
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A woman is in her doctor’s office getting undressed for an examination. She turns to a naked blond lady sitting beside her and says, “I told the doctor I have a cold, and he told me to strip. Does that seem suspicious to you?” The naked blonde says, “Don’t ask me. I’m only here to fix the fax machine.”
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A man was on an airplane, watching the movie, and hated it. So he walked out on it. After plunging to the sea, he swam to a deserted island. He lived there for 10 years, with no human contact, no companionship. One day, he was looking out at the lagoon, and saw someone in SCUBA gear swim out of it. The man could see is was a strikingly beautiful woman. She looked at him, licked her pouty lips, and asked,…
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A woman carrying a baby got on a bus and after paying the fare, took a seat behind the bus driver. Later on, a drunken man got on the same bus and after paying his fare, took a seat beside the woman carrying a baby. Since they were the only passengers on the bus, the drunk tried to strike up a conversation with the woman who tried her best to ignore him. Then the drunk took one look at the…
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A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.” The man leans out and,…
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