Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Rodney walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots–one for me and one for my best buddy here.” The bartender says, “You want both drinks now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour this?” Rodney says, “Oh, I want them both now. I’ve got my best buddy in my pocket here.” With that, he pulls out a little three-inch man from his pocket. The bartender says, “Wow! And you mean to…
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A guy walks into a bar one day and says to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” “Wow!” says the barman, “You must have had one hell of a day.” “Yep. I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day, the same guy walks into the bar and asks for another six double vodkas. “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too,” he explains. On the third day, the guy walks into the…
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A drunk guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How tall are penguins?” The bartender said, “About 1 1/2 to 2 feet tall.” Then the guy walks out. A few minutes later the guy comes back in and asks, “How tall are penguins?” The bartender said, “I already said that they are about 1 1/2 to 2 feet tall.” Then the guy walks out. A few minutes later he comes back in and says, “How big did you…
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A guy walks into a bar and notices an old friend of his seated miserably in the corner. He orders a drink and strolls over to ask his pal what is wrong. “I’ve just found out that mobile phones give you cancer.” Rather bewildered, our man asks why such a superstitious theory could upset him so much. “Well,” replies the man once again. “I’ve just bought one with the money I’ve saved from giving up smoking!”
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A lady who had already had several drinks, walks into a bar, slumps on the bar and asks the bartender for a “martoonie wid a pickle in it”. The bartender somewhat amused by her request, fixes her a martini and places an olive in it. As soon as the bartender places the drink in front of the lady, she picks up the glass, downs the drink, slams the glass on the bar and says “Bartender, gimme anoder martoonie wid a…
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A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Hamburger: $1 Cheeseburger: $2 Handjob: $10 He beckons to an attractive blonde behind the counter. “Can I help you?” she asks with a knowing smile. “I was wondering,” whispers the man. ” Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” “Yes,” she purrs suductively. “I am.” “Well, wash your hands,” he says. I want a fucking cheeseburger.”
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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. After he drinks it he looks into his shirt pocket shakes his head and asks for another one. This goes on for a few hours until the bartender starts getting curious. He walks up to the man and asks him what the hell he’s doing. “This is the way it goes”, he answers, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket. I drink until she looks good…
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A guy walks into a bar and notices a sign hanging over the mirror. The sign reads: Bottle of Beer $ 2.00 Cheese Sandwich $ 3.00 Hand Job $10.00 He looks around and notices a beautiful blonde behind the counter and he calls her over. “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” She lowers her eyelids and purrs a response, “Why, yes sir, I am.” “Well then wash your damn hands, I want a cheese sandwich!”
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A woman walks into a bar and orders drinks for the house. The bartender sets them up then says, “That’ll be $105.50.” The woman says, “I don’t have any money.” The bartender says, “Then how do you expect to pay for all these drinks?” She lifts up her skirt past her crotch. She’s got no panties on. The bartender says, “Don’t you have anything smaller?”
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey jumps all around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just…
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