Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A little fella walks into a bar. Unfortunately there is a pile of dog shit just inside the door, and he slips in it and falls over. He gets up, cleans himself up and walks to the bar and buys a drink. A great big man then enters the bar. He slips in the same pile of shit, falls, gets up, cleans up and buys a drink. The little guy turns to the big guy and, trying to strike up…
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One day a smurf walks into a biker bar, jumps onto a stool, then the counter and orders a beer. After downing the beer the smurf looks down to the far end of the bar and sees the biggest biker in the place. He then runs down to the biker, looks him square in the eyes, smiles from ear-to-ear, sticks his face in the biker’s beer and goes “bbbbbbb.” After taking his face out of the biker’s beer he runs…
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Midget walks into a bar, throws a five dollar bill on the table and says to the bartender, “Give me a five dollar shot of your best whiskey! And who’s the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight?” The bartender pours the midget a nice healthy shot of Crown Royal and says, “Well, I’d say the large fellow at the end of the bar is the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight.” Well the midget…
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A man walks into a Chinese restaurant to have dinner but the maitre’d informs him that there will be at least a twenty-minute wait. The maitre’d then asks the man, “Would you like to wait in the bar?” So the man goes into the bar and the bartender asks, “So what’ll it be?” The man replies, “Give me a Stoli with a twist.” The bartender squints at him for a few seconds, then smiles and says, “Once upon time there…
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One day a guy walks into a bar sits down and orders two shots of scotch. He drinks the shots pulls a picture out of his pocket and says, “Bar tender, two more shots please!” He drinks the shots and again pulls the picture out of his pocket. “Bar tender, two more shots please!” The Bar tender asks him, “Why do you keep ordering two shots and then look at the picture in your pocket?” “The picture is of my…
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A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Newfie were on shore leave from the Navy. They went into the bar and got completely drunk. The next morning, they awoke hung over and broke. The Englishman said, “I’m going to try something.” He went into the bar and ordered a double Scotch. The bartender brought him the drink and told him, “That’ll be two dollars.” The Englishman said, “I paid you already.” The bartender said, “No you didn’t.” The Englishman began screaming,…
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A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says, “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay…
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A very inebriated lady walks into a bar shortly before closing time, sits at the bar and orders, “Barbender, Barbender, I would like a Martoutsy.” The bartender brings her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. “Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy.” Again, the bartender brings her a Martini. By this time, the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on. She calls, “Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn.” Patiently, the bartender comes near her and…
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A guy and his beautiful girlfriend go into to this bar. The guy sits down and the beautiful girl tells her boyfriend that she is going to the bar to order her favorite mixed drink. She walks up to the bar to order the drink and along comes this drunk guy slurring, “Damn, baby, you are so fine, I would love to suck on those tits of yours!” She replies, “How dare you talk to me that way, my boyfriend…
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A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going tonight?” She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody at any time, anywhere — your place or my place, it doesn’t matter to me.” The guy raises his eyebrows and says, “No shit, what law firm do you work for?”
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