Wa wa Jokes - page 60

“You Are Different and That’s Bad” “Dad’s New Wife Timothy” “Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great Microwave Games” “Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets” “Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence” “The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables” “Start a Real Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom’s Purse” “The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy” “Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will” “The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead” “How to Become The Dominant…

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Things Dogs Must Try To Remember…. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it. I will…

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A WORKER ON A BUILDING SITE RUSHED UP TO THE FOREMAN. ‘RAMA RAMU!’ HE CRIED.’SOMEONE JUST DROPPED A AXE FROM THE TOP OF THE BUILDING AND CHOPPED MY EAR OFF’ IMMEDIATELY THE FOREMAN ORGANISED A SEARCH PARTY TO FIND THE EAR IN HOPE THAT SURGEONS MIGHT BE ABLE TO SEW IT ON AGAIN. ‘HERE IT IS’CRIED ONE OF THE SEARCHERS, WAVING THE EAR. ‘NO, THAT’S NOT MINE,’SAID THE INJURED WORKMAN. ‘MINE HAD A PENCIL BEHIND IT!’

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A passenger on a train visited the dining car and ordered a bowl of soup. When delivered, it had a fly in it. The outraged passenger wrote to the president of the railroad, expressing his dismay and vowing never again to ride that railroad. In a few days, he received a letter from the president, apologizing profusely, vowing that this was an unprecedented occurrence and explaining the steps that had been taken to insure it never happened again. The passenger…

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After I had grown up and become a man, my father and I were seated in front of the TV, during a football game’s halftime exercises. Dad remarked, “Son, every time I gave you a whipping when you were bad, you’d go into the bathroom and spend about 30 minutes, scrubbing the toilet. You got it spotlessly clean, and I could never figure out why you did that.” Without taking my eyes off the TV, I replied, “I was ‘getting…

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A man went in to see a palm reader and she was in a really good mood so he punched her out. Seems he wanted to strike a happy medium.

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