Wa wa Jokes - page 62

Make-Believe Ballroom

Cowboy Tex is out on the trail rounding up strays when suddenly his horse rears in terror. Tex draws his six-gun and takes aim at a rattlesnake warming itself in the morning sun. “Hold on, Tex” says the snake, “Don’t shoot. I’m really a genie, and I’ll grant you three wishes if you don’t kill me.” Since Tex and his horse are not within the rattlesnake’s striking range, he decides to take the snake’s offer. “OK,” says Tex. Here’s my…

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Boys will be boys…

Three boys went fishing by a stream. One of the boys left and was peeking through some nearby bushes. When the other two boys went to see what he was looking at, the little boy ran. So the two boys looked through the bushes and saw a naked woman swimming. When the two boys caught up to the first and asked why he ran away, he replied, “My mom told me that if I ever saw a naked woman I…

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How to Get out of a Traffic Ticket

The person in question, a woman in a Porsche, was pulled over for speeding by a California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer. When he walked up to her window and opened his ticket book, the woman said, “I bet you’re going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolman’s Ball.” He replied, “No, Highway Patrolmen don’t have balls.” There followed a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he’d said. The patrol officer closed his ticket book,…

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A Bad Golf Day

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.” “We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear…

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Stand By Me

A very busy corporate lawyer was called out of an important meeting to the bedside of an extremely wealthy widow who was one of the firm’s most prestigious clients. She was also well-known for her devoted Christian faith. The lawyer was ushered into the bedroom of the widow and asked, “What can I do for you, Mrs. Warbucks?” “Just come and stand beside my bed,” she said while lying in bed. The lawyer did as he was told. A few…

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The fishin’ hole

George was sitting at his desk and stressing over the upcoming deadlines when his boss came up to him. Their conversation went as follows: Boss: “George, when is the last time you took a vacation?” George: “Sir, I don’t have time for a vacation. There is way too much work to be done.” Boss: “George, I believe you would be more productive if you took some time to get away from your work and relax for a little bit.” George:…

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Don’t Drink the Milk

There was a man whose wife didn’t respond to his desires. This continued for about six months. As frustration built, he decided to see a doctor about his wife’s lack of attention toward him. The doctor gave him a bottle of pills and said, “Now, just before your wife retires, give her a cup of milk and slip a couple of these pills in it. Before you know it, she will be more than obliging.” So he goes home, very…

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VIP Treatment

Jose lived in San Juan, and all he ever wanted was to see a baseball game in Yankee Stadium. Jose loved baseball; and, most of all, he loved the Yankees. He worked and saved and, at long last, bought a ticket, took a plane; but when he got to Yankee Stadium, it was all sold out. Not a seat was to be had. Jose pleaded so much that he touched the heart of the ticket office people, and they found…

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2 brothers

Jim went to the unemployment office to get a job. He told the lady he was a pilot. She said she had a job for him and to start in the morning. Bob, his brother, also went to get a job after his brother told him how he got his job. He told the same lady he was a woodcutter. She had no jobs for a woodcutter. He asked how his brother was able to get a job so easily.…

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If AOL Made Cars…

1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer. 2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player. 3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later. 4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars. 5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and…

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