Wa wa Jokes - page 200

Smell the Coffee

A grandmother was surprised by her seven-year-old helper early one morning. He had made her coffee! She drank what was probably the worst cup of coffee in her entire life. And when she got to the bottom, to her utter amazement, there were three little green, army men in her cup. Puzzled, she asked, “Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?” Her grandson answered, “Grandma, you know how it says on TV, ‘The best part of waking…

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The Wish

Three women were stranded on a deserted island. All of sudden a bottle washed upon the shore. One of the women picked up the bottle and rubbed it. A genie appeared and offered the three women three wishes (one wish apiece). The first woman wished to be 10 times smarter. The genie snapped his fingers and she became 10 times smarter. She built a raft out of wood on the island and sailed off. The second woman wished to be…

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Simple Solution

A man goes to his doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room, and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.” Startled to be put…

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A More Likely Location

A spiritualist who’d recently been widowed met a colleague and reported excitedly that she’d just received a message from her dead husband – asking her to send him a pack of cigarettes. “The only thing is,” she mused, “that I don’t know where to send them.” “Why not?” asked her friend. “Well, he didn’t actually say that he was in Heaven – but I can’t imagine he’d be in Hell.” “Hmmm,” responded the friend. “Well, maybe I shouldn’t bring this…

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dumb blonde

there was a blonde working at a burger king and everyone made fun of how dumb she is. so one day she decided she will memorize and the state capitals. so she stood up all night memorizing them. the next day they were once again making fun of her. “oh yeah the blonde replied. “i stood up all day and remebered the state capitals. go ahead try me.” so they ask her one question. “what is the capital of Oaklahoma?”…

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Circus goes to farm

A train carrying circus animals de-rails beside a farm. This zebra gets off and goes to the farm. The zebra sees a chicken the zebra says to the chicken, “What do you do here?” The chicken says, “I walk around this cage and lay eggs.” The zebra exclaims, “You are telling me that you walk around and lay eggs while I risk my life in the African desert? You make me sick!” Then the zebra goes up to a bull…

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It’s Tough To Be A Guy…

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it’s exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy butt and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity. If you mention how…

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Lemon Squeeze

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice would win the money. Many people had tried over time…(weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and…

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Oh Bob!

He offered his honor, She honored his offer, And all that night, He was honor and offer. Oh, Bob, let’s not park here. Oh, Bob, let’s not park. Oh, Bob, let’s not. Oh, Bob, let’s. Oh, Bob. Oh!

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Initials you should AVOID using!

Just a word of advice to online folks who frequent the chatrooms and gamerooms. This is not only “funny” but really happened: I wanted to say, “GOOD FOR YOU!” to a person in an online gameroom, after she defeated me. (I’m a great loser, because I lose so often.) I typed the following: “GFY!” Try to imagine my embarrassment when my opponent very angrily pointed out to me that “GFY!” could be interpreted as, “GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

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Read JokeInitials you should AVOID using!