Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Dad: Come in here, son. we need to talk. Billy: What’s up, Dad? Dad: There’s a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it? Billy: I don’t believe, if I understand the definition of “scratch the car”, that I can say truthfully that I scratched the car. Dad: Well, it wasn’t there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch? Billy: Well, as…
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Santa Claus: An engineer’s perspective I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. II.…
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It was back in the olden times when you drove carriages not cars. A little boy and his father lived outside of the town. The father told his son, he had to go to town and sell his pet duck because they needed the money. So the little boy is walking in the town and he is looking depressed and a woman is standing on the street and notices him. She walks up to him and says, “Why don?t you…
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One day Father Murphy couldn’t find his cat. Once he did, he found it in a tree. The tree was too high for him to climb so he tied a rope to the branch and the other end to his truck. He began to pull the branch down and was almost done when the rope broke. The cat went soaring through the air. He went all through the neighborhood to see if anyone saw it but no one did. A…
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1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…
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Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older, he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. “The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to…
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Bob: My wife drives like lightning. Ted: She drives fast? Bob: No, she hits trees!
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As you know, I have been delivering presents to good boys and girls for several centuries, but after bypass surgery last Spring, I feel that I can no longer visit every home on earth in the early hours of Christmas morning. Accordingly, I have asked a distant cousin on my father’s side if he would assume some of my responsibilities by visiting the homes in the southern USA, as he is from the deep South himself…actually the South Pole. His…
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A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit’s head, and said, “You’re under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I’ll blow your brains out.”…
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It was past lunchtime when a man with a cane entered a small diner. When the diner owner handed him the menu, the customer said to the owner, “I’m sorry I can’t read your menu. I’m blind.” The owner apologized and asked what the customer wanted to eat. The blind man said, “Could me bring me a used spoon? I could tell what your special for the day is just by smelling the spoon.” Although the diner owner was skeptical…
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