Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A Marine enters the restroom and sees a sailor standing at the urinal, fussing with the thirteen buttons on his pants. The Marine says, “It must be a pain in the ass to have to mess with all those buttons every time you take a piss.” The sailor replies, “Yes it is! If I were a Marine, all I’d have to do is take off my hat.”
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Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, for she was my father’s wife. To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy. I soon became…
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Three ants, Joe, Bob, and Billy, were living in an ant hill right in the middle of a woman’s yard. They were sleeping peacefully, until they were suddenly awakened by water rushing down and flooding the hill. The three friends barely escaped. Having lost their home, they decided to enter the house and find somewhere to sleep. They walked into the woman’s bedroom, and began talking over their “room” assignments. Joe had decided to sleep in one of the woman’s…
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Dirty knock knock jokes Knock Knock Who’s there? Amos Amos who? A mosquito bit me! Knock Knock Who’s There? Justin Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my @$$ ! Knock Knock Who’s there? Parton! Parton who? Parton my French! Knock Knock Who’s there? “Fuck you said” “Fuck you said who?” “Me!” Knock Knock Who’s there? Andy. Andy who? And he bit me again! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda Smellmop. Wanda Smellmop who? No, thanks, I’m not into scat. Knock…
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A man is in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. Every time the kite gets up into the air, it comes crashing down. This goes on for a while when his wife sticks her head out of the front door and yells, “You need more tail!” The father turns to his son and says, “Son, I’ll never understand your mother. I told her yesterday I needed more tail and she told me to go fly…
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There is a blind man on his way to Texas for the first time. He is on the airplane, and he is in First Class. He goes to his seat, and feels them, they are huge. He asks the stewardess, “Aren’t these seats kinda’ big?” She replies, “Oh, everything’s bigger in Texas.” Then he gets to Texas, and he goes to his room. He walks, and walks and didn’t hit the wall for a few minutes, and he was walking…
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Question: Why can’t the Greeks ever win the World Cup Football (Soccer)? Answer: Because every time you give them a corner, they build a fish and chip shop.
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An English teacher at Iowa State University spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors on her students’ written work. She wasn’t sure how much impact she was having until one overly-busy day when she sat at her desk, rubbing her tired and aching temples. A student walked by and asked, “What’s the matter, Mrs. Sheridan?” “Tense,” she replied, describing her emotional state. After a slight pause, the student tried again . . . “What was the matter? What has…
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Two men, sitting side by side in a 747 jet, started to talk. One told the other that this was his first flight. They left New York City for Los Angeles. They landed in Chicago, whereupon a little red truck pulled up and refueled the plane. They again landed to refuel in Denver. Another little red truck pulled up to the plane. Then they took off once again. As they were about to land at their destination, the veteran flier…
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Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. “Hungry, Seymour?” the Lord asked. “I could eat,” said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka. The next day, the Lord again asked Seymour if he were hungry, and Seymour again…
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