Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A sultan is bored with all the jugglers and clowns, so he warns his servant, “Unless you find some good entertainment for me tonight, it’s off with your head!” The man is terrified, but he vows he will not fail. Day turns to night, and it’s time for the show. “Well what have you got for me?” the sultan booms. “Tonight, Sire,” squeaks the servant, “we have a man who will make love to a dozen women before your very…
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I think a Democrat must have made up the Florida Election Ballots. Of course, we must understand the Democrats court the minorities who can’t read, write, think, or punch a hole at the end of an arrow. As for the seniors, it bothers me that they had a problem, because they have no problems when it comes to playing 15 bingo cards at a time. By the way, that Bill Daily is a beaut — he comes from Chicago where…
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It’s reassuring that idiomatic expressions in American English (the President’s American) sometimes make relative sense — for example, getting stood up is the opposite of getting laid.
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A traveling salesman visits to a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, “Don’t miss the Amazing Goldstein!” Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts. Animals, clowns, contortionists, and other questionable acts. Finally the trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There in the middle of the ring is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man, five feet tall and barely…
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Did you know that.. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. Marilyn Monroe had six toes. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white. The names of all the continents start with the same letter that they end with. If the population of China walked past you in…
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Mens Guide to what Women are really saying. —————————————- “We need” = “I want” “It’s your decision ” = “The correct decision should be obvious by now.” “Do what you want” = “You’ll pay for this later.” “We need to talk” = “I need to complain” “I’m not upset” = “Of course I’m upset, you moron!” “You’re so… manly” = “You need a shave and you sweat a lot.” “Be romantic, turn out the lights.” = “I have flabby thighs.”…
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(Except the word ‘panties’ has been substituted.) A tremor in the panties. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master. You are unwise to lower your panties. We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those panties, up or down. She must have hidden the plans in her panties. These panties may not look like much, kid, but they’ve got it where it counts. I find your lack of panties disturbing. These…
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WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS! If you get an envelope from a company called “Internal Revenue Service,” DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential functions of the United States government. This is untrue! The money the IRS collects is used to fund various other corporations which depend on subsidies to…
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There would be a “Rehearsal Dinner Kegger” until the cops showed up. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cutoffs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part. The couple would leave the ceremony in…
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1. Connection – Heh… what connection? 2. Complicated – Once you finally connect to the Internet (see #1), the thing that they don’t tell you when you get the Internet is how impossible it is to use if you have never used it before. They all think it is sooo easy, and I probably would think it was easy too if I programmed it. If you are dedicated enough to actually try to figure it out, that is close to…
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