Th th Jokes - page 505

Polish Hunting Trip

Two polish men went away for their annual hunting trip, and by accident, one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital. After several hours, the doctor came out with a worried expression on his face. “Well, doctor,” he inquired anxiously. “Is he going to live?” “It’s hard to say,” answered the doctor. “He would have a better chance if you hadn’t gutted him first.”

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my friend joe

It was the year for Jack’s class reunion, and he thought he would go to see his old friend Joe. He thought that Joe would be there so he would go, too. When Jack got there, he was looking around for Joe. He could see everybody else, but not Joe. But he did see a really beautiful woman that he didn’t know. He thought he might go over and talk to her. When he got near the woman, she said,”Jack…

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bank robbery

A pregnant lady walked into a bank in the middle of a robbery, and was shot three times in the stomach. She was rushed to the hospital and asked if the triplets would be ok the doctor said they will pass the bullet in nine years. Nine years pass and one of the boys came home from school and said, “Mommy, mommy, I shit a bullet!” and she said “That is normal.” Then another boy came out of the bathroom…

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Reach Out and Touch …

This is a true story straight from the EE Times datelined October 8, 1996: The Japanese company Matsushita Electric planned to launch a new Japanese PC for the Internet. Its sister company Panasonic developed a complete Japanese web browser. To make the system more “user-friendly”, Panasonic obtained the rights to the cartoon character “Woody Woodpecker” and made this its “Internet guide”. Panasonic eventually planned on a world version of this product. A huge marketing campaign was to have introduced the…

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He carries it….

A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar… So it went: step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached…

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Lost Baggage

Passenger to Airline Ticket Agent: I want my brown suitcase sent to Los Angeles, my green suitcase sent to Kansas City, and my tan suitcase sent to New Orleans. Ticket Agent: I’m sorry, sir; this flight is to Nashville. We can’t do that. Passenger: Why not ? You did it last time.

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