The squirrels
Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was taped to the first squirrel. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was taped to the first squirrel. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.
Cautioning the witness to remember that she was under oath, the lawyer asked, “How old are you?” “Twenty-nine and some months,” she replied. “How many months?” “One hundred and ninety-six.”
There are three drunks sitting around a fire arguing. The first drunk says, “The fastest thing in the world is the blink of an eye. You know when something is coming at your eye, you blink — poof — it is over. That is the fastest thing in the world. The second one says, “No no no, the fastest thing in the world is the light. You know how you turn on the light switch — poof — the light…
Einstein’s Theory of Relativity: The number of relatives you have will vary exponentially with the amount of money you win in the lottery.
Your momma’s glasses are so thick, she looked at a map & saw people waving!
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him – Is he still wrong? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?” When you open a bag of cotton balls,…
10. “Just reach in and grab the giblets.” 9. “Whew…that’s one terrific spread!” 8. “I am in the mood for a little dark meat!” 7. “Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.” 6. “Talk about a HUGE breast!” 5. “And he forces his way into the end zone!” 4. “She’s 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.” 3. “It’s cool whip time!” 2. “If I don’t unbutton my pants, I am going…
Q. How does a man take a bubble bath? A. He eats lots of beans for dinner.
A man wakes up in the hospital to find his doctor looking down on him and soon the doctor says, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we were forced to amputate both your legs.” The man, after regaining his composure, then asks, “What on earth is the good news?” With a slight smile, the doctor replies, “The man in the next bed wants to buy your slippers!”
Ray gets a call from his blonde girlfriend Gloria. “I’ve got problem, Ray, and I need your help.” “What’s the trouble, Gloria?” replies Ray. “I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it’s too hard. None of it fits together and I can’t find any of the edge pieces.” “What’s it a picture of?” Ray asks. “It’s a big rooster,” says Gloria. “OK, I’ll come and have a look,” says Ray, so he drives to Gloria’s house. She leads him to the…