Th th Jokes - page 124

The First night…

This guy and his newlywed wife go off to a fancy hotel to celebrate their first night of marriage. Both of them had been saving themselves for this night and both were very anxious to, you could say, get everything underway. They strip down naked and are about to start getting kinky when the husband takes a look at his wife and says, “That’s quite a fair sized butt you got there!!” His wife starts screaming at him and going…

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Trip to the morgue

Three smiling corpses are lying in a morgue in a rural Alabama town, and a detective goes into the coroner’s to find the causes of death. The coroner points to the first dead man. “This is Cletus, the Lucky SOB” he says. “He died of shock after winning 20 million on the lottery.” He then moves on to the second smiling corpse. “This is Bubba,” the coroner says with a grin. “He died having oral sex with Trudy-May, first sex…

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The bootlegger

There was this bootlegger driving down the road when a police officer pulled him over. The police officer walked up to the car and saw a jug sitting in the seat beside the man. The police officer asked the man what was in the jug and the man replied “water”. The officer then asked to see the jug. The officer took the jug and smelled the contents. He then told the bootlegger that it was not water but instead wine.…

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The two (not so) smart men

Two smart men (Portuguese) were walking in a farm. One of them saw a “cake” just made by a cow. He said to the other: “I’ll give you $1000 if you eat some of this.” The other agreed, ate some and got the money. After this the man who lost money realised that he could not lose so much money and said: “For such amount I would do the same.” The man who got the money said: “I don’t believe.”…

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Mirror,mirror on the wall who’s the dumbest one of all

There’s a bar in New York that has a truth mirror.If you say a lie it sucks you in.A red head walked in the bar and said,”I’m the cutest girl in New York”,so the mirror sucked her in.Then a brunet walked in and said,”I’m the smartest girl in New York”,so the mirror sucked her in. Then a blond waled in and said, “I’m….” and the mirror sucked her in.

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Getting Divorced for the Kids’ Sake

Morris calls his son in New York and says, “Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don’t want to discuss it. I’m merely telling you because you’re my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I’ve made up my mind, I’m divorcing Mama.” The son is shocked and asks his father to tell him what happened. “I don’t want to get into it. My mind is made up.” “But Dad, you just can’t decide to divorce…

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The three Ninjas

There was a contest held in Japan, the contest was between three Ninjas from different countries. There was a Japanese Ninja, an American Ninja and a Trinidadian Ninja. The contest was who can chop flies the best. So the Japanese Ninja went first, the fly came flying about and in a flash the Japanese Ninja chopped the fly in half with one strike, the crowed went wild. The American Ninja went next and with great speed and skill the fly…

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The Raven: 2001 Edition

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I websurfed, weak and weary, Over many a strange and spurious site of “hot chicks galore,” As I clicked my fav’rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, And, of course, I was now mourning; mourning for my lost amour, “Tis not possible!” I stuttered, “Give me back my cheap hardcore!” Quote the server, “404.”

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A blonde paints the bedroom

A blond says to her boyfriend, ” Sweetie while you’re out I want to repaint our bedroom” The boyfriend replies, “Ok” When he gets home he finds his girlfriend lying in a pile of sweat wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat. He then asks her, “Why are you wearing two jackets?” She replies, “Well on the paint can it said put on two coats for better results.

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The Stork Family

Once upon a time there was a stork family – papa stork, mama stork and baby stork. One evening papa stork didn’t show up for dinner. Mama stork and baby stork left the food out for him but he didn’t come home at all that night. When papa stork finally did come home the next day, baby stork asked, “Papa stork, where were you last night?” “Out making a young couple very happy,” replied papa stork. Several weeks later, mama…

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