Th th th Jokes - page 87

What’s the Difference?

This Chinese guy was quietly drinking at this bar, when a Jewish guy walks in and punches him in the face. The Chinese guy says, “What was that for???” The Jewish guy replies, “That was for Pearl Harbor!” The Chinese guy says, “I’m Chinese. The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor!” The Jewish guy says, “Chinese, Japanese, what’s the difference?!” The Jew sits down at the other end of the bar and gets a drink. Then the Chinese guy goes over to…

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Hail to the Chief

It’s a shame that Bill has caused so many changes in the White House. The latest being that “Hail to the Chief” won’t be played anymore to honor him as President. Seems Bill prefers “Devil with a Blue Dress on.”

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Cavity of the Decayed

“Open wider,” requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. “HOLY MOSES!” he said, startled. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen!–the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen!” “Ok, Doc!” replied the patient. “I’m scared enough without your saying something like that TWICE!” “I didn’t!” said the dentist. “That was the echo.”

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A Man, His Wife And The Cop

A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car. The man says, “What’s the problem officer?” Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ticket you. Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60. Wife: Oh, Harry. You…

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Who Wears the Pants in the Family?

This guy came home to his wife one evening after working all day and began ordering her around. To his surprise the wife interrupted him by saying that she was tired and had a rough day herself. He looked at her in funny way and began unbuttoning his pants. She just stood there in a curious manner. “Here,” he said, “put these pants on.” “These will never fit me,” she said. “I could get two people in these.” Without hesitation…

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35 Fun Things to Do While Driving

35 Fun Things to do When Driving 1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged. 2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang. 3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling. 4. Two words: Chicken suit. 5. Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better. 6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rearview mirror as toll collector…

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