Th th th Jokes - page 621

Select-A-Bra

A man walked into the Ladies Department of Macy’s. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.” “What type of bra?” asked the clerk. “Type?” inquires the man. “There is more than one type?” “Look around,” said the sales lady, as she showed him a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. “Actually, even with all this variety, there are really only four types…

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Jury Duty

Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused. She said she didn’t believe in capital punishment and didn’t want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. The public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet calm and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury. “Madam,” he explained, “this is not a murder trial! It’s a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case…

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A nasty bruise

I saw my mate Spag the other day; hadn’t seen him for some time. I was surprised to see that he had a nasty big red bruise right across his forehead. Horrible looking thing. I said, “Wow, what happened to you, Spag?” He said, “Well, me and the wife were doing it doggy-style out in the back yard, and there was a big clap of thunder, and she ran under the house.”

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Ham & cheese again!

There was a black man, white man, and a dumb man at work. Then it was time for lunch. The 3 men sat down to begin their lunch. The black man opened his lunch to see a tuna fish sandwhich. He said, “If I get another sandwich with tuna fish in it, I am going to kill myself!” Then the white man opened his lunch to see a peanut butter sandwich. He said, “If I get another peanut butter sandwich,…

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One step ahead

Two Yankees are speeding down a Texas highway when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The trooper comes over and bangs on the window with his nightstick and when the driver rolls the window down, the trooper whacks him across the head with the stick. “What did you do that for?” asks the driver. “You’re in Texas boy and when I come to the window, you have your license and registration ready for me!” “Yes, Sir!” After they…

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Who’s Having Fun?

Clifton Fadiman had occasion to visit the kindergarten class of a highly progressive school attended by his son, Jonathan. The children were engaged in “rhythmic play,” where they were following the lead of their teacher, an energetic young woman, who danced about the room clapping her hands in time to the music of a record player. The docile pupils staggled behind her in ragged fashion. Later Fadiman drew his son aside and said, “I guess you have lots of fun…

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Old guy, Young guy

In the future, a young man fresh out of college asked his rich neighbor, “How did you ever make so much money?” The man looked at his worn hands and said, “It was hard, hard work, my boy, and I’ll tell you my secrets. Once, I found a nickel on the ground. I took that little nickel and bought with it one red apple. I spent my whole day polishing that one apple and at the end of the day…

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Read JokeOld guy, Young guy