Crowd pleaser
Last week my band played at the grand opening of a fertility clinic.. the crowd thought we were so good they gave us a standing ovulation !
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Th th th Jokes - page 501
Pedophile & Acne
what has a pedophile got in common with acne? they both come on your face when you’re 13.
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Dr. Dolittle
At a medical convention, a male and female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go in and wash her hands. Once she comes back, they go…
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Yo mama and daddy
Yo mama is knocked kneed and yo daddy is bowlegged. When they walk down the street it look like they’re trying to spell O.K.
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Hans Olaffsen
This guy is walking through ChinaTown. He is fascinated with all the Chinese Restaurants, the Chinese shops, the Chinese signs and banners on the buildings. He is having the best time just walking and looking. He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign, “Hans Olafsen’s Laundry”. “Hans Olaffsen?”, he thinks. “How in the world does that fit in here?” So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor…
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Barney?? Bad??
1.) Start with the given: Cute purple dinosaur. 2.) Convert U’s to V’s (Which is proper latin anyway) Cvte pvrple dinosavr 3.) Take out all Roman numerals. C V V L D I V 4.) Convert them 100 5 5 50 500 1 5 5.) Add them up 100+5+5+50+500+1+5=666 Thus barney is SATAN!!!!
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Apollo Moon Mission
About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo Moon Mission, took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the lunar surface. Alone, with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full lunar space suits. Nearby, a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about, occasionally being tended by personnel. The two Navajo peple were noticed and…
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Drew Carey joke
Drew Carey opens up his paycheque & says, “Those idiots! It says Drew Fairy! They messed up my name again! Last week it said ‘Screw Carey’.” His friend Lewis takes a look at the amount on Drew’s cheque & says, “Looks like it’s ‘screw Carey’ every week!”
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X-Ray Glasses
Vinnie goes to the local novelty shop and finds a pair of x-ray glasses. He checks them out, but isn’t fully convinced. The store assistant comes along and shows him how to use them, so he buys them. On his way home, Vinnie puts on his new x-ray glasses and, bingo, he sees everyone in the street naked! He takes them off for a moment, and everyone has their clothes on. Puts the glasses back on…everyone is naked again! “Cool!”…
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Be a Good Sport
John receives a phone call. “Hello,” he answers. The voice on the other end says, “This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago.” John: “Hmm… Susan? About 3 months ago?” Susan: “Yes, it was at Bill’s house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport.” John: “Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?” Susan: “I’m pregnant and I’m going…
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