Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front…
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The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
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Did you hear about the Bigger family? There was Father Bigger, Mother Bigger, and Baby Bigger-who was bigger? Baby Bigger, because he was a little Bigger. After Father Bigger died, Mother Bigger married Uncle Bigger, who was bigger? Mother Bigger, for she was twice the Bigger.
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Dear Son, I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address as the last family here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn’t have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first…
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A woman walks into a bar and orders drinks for the house. The bartender sets them up then says, “That’ll be $105.50.” The woman says, “I don’t have any money.” The bartender says, “Then how do you expect to pay for all these drinks?” She lifts up her skirt past her crotch. She’s got no panties on. The bartender says, “Don’t you have anything smaller?”
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Liz Taylor’s Operation Liz Taylor goes in to see her cosmetic surgeon. “I have met the man of my dreams, finally, the love of my life!” she announces to the surgeon. “But I need you to help me with a small problem. This man is only 24-years-old, I am truly head over heels in love with him, and don’t want to disappoint him in any way, so I want you to make my vagina look like an 24-year-old’s.” The surgeon…
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Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist”garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a “drop dead”…
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One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with “This was England’s finest hour.” Little Suzy instantly jumped up and said,” Winston Churchill.” “Congratulations said the teacher you may go home.” The teacher then said, “Ask not what your country can do for you…”…
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An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will if required…. so get out of the car. The 4 men didn’t wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping…
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A deputation of concerned women came to Winston Churchill in order to protest his overconsumption of spiritous liquors. They said, “Mr. Churchill, if all the spirits you have drunk in your life were poured into this room, they would fill it to here.” Churchill regarded the imaginary line they had traced on the wall, and his eyes then went up to the ceiling, and he sighed, “So much to do, so little done.”
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