Two Irishmen Looking for Work
There are two Irishmen looking for work and they see a sign-TREE FELLERS WANTED- “Oh oh, just take a look at that,” said Paddy. “What a pity there’s only the two of us.”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Th th th Jokes - page 479
Hanging Nuts
What did one nut say to the other nut? Why are we the one’s hanging? Dick did the shooting.
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Blonde And A Bird
A blonde bought a bird expecting it to talk. After a few days the bird had not said a thing. So she went back to the pet store and asked what she could do to make the bird talk. The guy said to get the bird a ladder so she bought a ladder. The bird never talked. She went back to the store again and asked what she could do to make her bird talk. The guy said to get…
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Little Johnny’s Christmas
Little Johnnie Christmas – Little Johnnie had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do? The shrink said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnnie what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.” Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s father asked him what…
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Eye Problems
Jim and Ted play golf together every Monday. Jim always wins because Ted is a terrible putter. One Monday, Ted can’t miss. He sinks every shot on the green. Jim can’t believe his eyes! After the round, Jim asks, “What has happened? You can’t miss today.” Ted says, “Order up the beer, I have to go to the bathroom”. When Ted comes back the front of his pants are all wet. Confused, Jim asks “What happened to your pants?” “I’ll…
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Chinese Spy
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir: You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree-look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he.…
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Jennifer
Jennifer Flowers was being interviewed by a reporter, when he asked her if she and Clinton did the same things that he and Monica had done. Ms. Flowers looked at the reporter and said: “Close, but no cigar!”
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Start ‘Em Young
A gang member was holding his 8-month-old baby while his wife was preparing lunch in the kitchen. The baby murmured, “Mother.” The guy got all excited and hollered to his wife, “HEY, WOMAN, THE BABY JUST SAID HALF A WORD!”
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Little Johnny’s Drawing
Mrs. Smith, a third grade teacher wanted the class to play a game where one student starts drawing on the board, then one by one others add to it. She decides not to start with Johnny, because he is so naughty and always has some “unusual” picture in mind. So she starts with Jane. Jane: “This is our House” /\ / \ / \ / \ | | | | | | | | The teacher: “Good, Jane!” and asks…
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Bad Golfers
A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through and he would meet them at the clubhouse. They followed the plan and waited for their friend. After a considerable time he appeared disheveled, bloody, and badly beaten up. They all wanted to know what happened. He explained that he went over to the cow pasture but could not find his…
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