Th th th Jokes - page 462

Jealous Rooster

After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly-colored one. A few minutes later, the rooster walked in, saw all the colored eggs, then stormed outside and killed the peacock.

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Wife’s Gift

A man wanted to give his wife a pet for her birthday so he went into a pet store and asked for something different. Then he saw something really different: a skunk. Well, he bought it and gave it to his wife. She looked at her husband and said, “Are you crazy? What do you think I am going to do with this?” Becoming mad that she didn’t like his gift to her, he replied, “I don’t care, grow yourself…

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Happy Announcement

The blonde had been married about a year when one day she came running up to her husband, jumping for joy. Not knowing exactly how to react, the husband started jumping up and down along with her. “Why are we so happy?” he asked. “Honey, I have some really great news for you!” she said. “Great!” he said. “Tell me what you’re so happy about.” She stopped jumping and was breathless from all the jumping up and down. “I’m pregnant!”…

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Capitals according to a blonde

Two blondes were sitting in a booth at a local restaurant when, they overheard a man telling his buddy “stupid blonde” jokes. Then, one blonde said to the other, “I hate people that think all blondes are stupid. Because, I think I’m a really smart blonde.” Then the other blonde said, “Prove that guy wrong. Go home and learn all the capitals to all the states. And we’ll come back and prove him wrong.” So, the blonde went home and…

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Walking on Water

Jerry had heard a family rumor that his father, grandfather and even his great-grandfather had all “walked on water” on their 21st birthdays. So, on his 21st birthday, he and his good friend, Brian, headed out to the lake. “If THEY could do it, so can I!” Jerry told Brian. Jerry and Brian arrived at the lake and rented a boat. They paddled out to the middle. Jerry stepped off the side of the boat…and almost drowned! Furious, he had…

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Penetanguishene

Two blondes were vacationing in Ontario, Canada when they drove past a roadsign which said PENETANGUISHENE 30 km. They argued for the next twenty minutes about how to pronounce Penetanguishene when the driver said to her friend, “You’re just an ignorant slut, Candy.” And Candy replied “And you’re just a stubborn donkey-fucker, Gloria.” And Candy said, “Let’s have lunch.” So, inside the restaurant, Gloria said to the guy behind the counter, “Hey, Sport, do us a favor and pronounce where…

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Dwarf Buys A Horse

A dwarf goes to a farmer one day and tells him, “I’d like to buy a horth.” The farmer is in a hurry to get somewhere but tells him, “Okay, I’ll quickly show you this horse but I got to get going.” The dwarf looks at the horse and says, “Can I thee her eyeth? You can tell a lot about a horth from her eyeth.” The farmer picks up the dwarf and the dwarf looks at the horse’s eyes.…

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