Th th th Jokes - page 362

It’s just Beautiful!

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.” “Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said. “Excellent, Michael!” Then, the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeIt’s just Beautiful!

missing dog

Help! My dog has been missing, here is a brief description: Has fleas, mange and really bad breath; Runs on 3 legs (lawnmower accident) Blind in one eye (bowhunting accident) Cropped tail Recently castrated Answers to the name of “Lucky”

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokemissing dog

Adios, Cuba

In an attempt to flee the hard life in their homeland, a group of twenty Cubans secretly left Cuba on a small boat and set sail for Miami. Along the way, the oldest Cuban suffered a serious heart attack. As he lay gasping for breath, the old man made this request to his fellow Cubans, “Please, my friends, I wish to hold in my hands the flag of my beloved Cuba and kiss it before I breathe my last.” So…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeAdios, Cuba

college life

Signs you’re in college: -You rarely have $5 in your pocket. -A grilled cheese sandwich is a major food group to you. -You have little or no idea what you want to do with your life. -There is drool damage in two or more of your textbooks. -Your body starts going through withdrawal, when you go more than two days w/o pizza. -Your computer costs more and runs better than your car. -Your history prof asks “Who was General Lee?”…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokecollege life

Courtroom Door

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.” He looked toward the courtroom door.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCourtroom Door

late date

A man and his beautiful blonde wife went out to dinner at a nice resturant on the third floor of a building. When they got there, the blonde excused herself to go to the restroom. Over an hour went by and the man was getting very worried. Finally the wife came back. “Where have you been? I was getting worried!” the husband demanded. The wife replied, “The escalator broke and I was stuck there for an hour and a half!”

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokelate date

Head of Lettuce

A woman goes to the supermarket. She starts walking up and down the aisles. Each aisle she goes to she touches her head, her ears, her breasts, and her crotch. After doing this a number of times a man approaches her and ask if she is having a problem. She tells him no. He says that he would like to know what she is doing at the beginning of each aisle. She says she is trying to remember her grocery…

(5)Loading...

Read JokeHead of Lettuce