Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A loving couple was celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, privately, at home with a couple of bottles of champagne. A bit tipsy and feeling very intimate the husband turns to his wife and asks, “Tell me truthfully, have you ever been unfaithful to me?” “Well,” she replied, “since you ask, to tell you the truth I have been unfaithful on three occasions.” “What? How could you?” “Let me tell you about it,” she said. “The first time was back when…
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Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in the White House? A: They couldn’t find three wise men, or a virgin.
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There was a Rabbi that would always ride his bike. One day a priest noticed that the Rabbi wasn’t on his bike. So the priest stopped him and asked, “Where’s your bike? You are always riding it.” The Rabbi said, “I had it yesterday and I think someone stole it.” The priest said, “The next time you preach say the 10 commandments. Then when you get on I shall not steal the robber is bound to come out.” So a…
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You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If… You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.” Your Jedi robe is camouflage. You have ever used your light saber to open a can of Bud. At least one wing of your X-Wing Fighter is primer colored. You can easily describe the taste of Ewok. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. Wookiees…
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50 Ways to Kill Bin Ladin (As sung by “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” with apologies to Paul Simon) The problem is all inside his head it seems to me; The answer is easy if you strike him methodically. We need to get him in our struggle to be free; There must be 50 ways to get Bin Ladin. Bush said ?It?s really not my habit to use nukes. Except now, I?m really pissed off at those Islamic nut-head…
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A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF MERCY -HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says: SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES and realizes that these signs are for real. When he drives past a third sign saying:…
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The young blonde American girl, on her very first trip to Paris, decided to test the French male’s fabled expertise in the art of love-making. On her first date, she asked him what exactly he intended to do with her. “First,” he replied, “I weel remove ze dress. Zen, I will carry you to ze bed. And zen,” he added triumphantly, “I will kiss ze navel.” “Big deal!!!” the blonde said. “I’ve had my navel kissed hundreds of times before.”…
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Near the end of a particularly trying round of golf, during which the golfer had hit numerous fat shots, he said in frustration to his caddy, “I’d move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course.” “Try heaven,” said the caddy. “You’ve already moved most of the earth.”
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A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor pulled the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. He will surely die if you don’t do the following: Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.…
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