Long Lecture
As they left the auditorium after a two-hour lecture on nineteenth-century English poets, the wife exclaimed, “Didn’t it make your mind soar?” “Yes,” her husband agreed grimly, “and my backside, too!”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Th th th Jokes - page 345
Difference
Q: What’s the difference between frustration and utter frustration? A: Frustration is the first time you can’t do it the second time. Utter frustration is the second time you can’t do it the first time.
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cemetery
The smallest cemetery in the world? A pussy. It only takes one stiff at a time.
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It’s Tough To Be A Guy…
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it’s exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy butt and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity. If you mention how…
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Lemon Squeeze
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice would win the money. Many people had tried over time…(weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and…
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Oh Bob!
He offered his honor, She honored his offer, And all that night, He was honor and offer. Oh, Bob, let’s not park here. Oh, Bob, let’s not park. Oh, Bob, let’s not. Oh, Bob, let’s. Oh, Bob. Oh!
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Redneck Divorce
If two rednecks get divorced, are they still cousins?
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Initials you should AVOID using!
Just a word of advice to online folks who frequent the chatrooms and gamerooms. This is not only “funny” but really happened: I wanted to say, “GOOD FOR YOU!” to a person in an online gameroom, after she defeated me. (I’m a great loser, because I lose so often.) I typed the following: “GFY!” Try to imagine my embarrassment when my opponent very angrily pointed out to me that “GFY!” could be interpreted as, “GO FUCK YOURSELF!”
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Mr. and Mrs. Wong
A Chinese couple were delighted when Mrs. Wong gave birth to their first son until they saw him. He was black. They named him Sum Ting Wong.
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State Workers
A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola, and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was 25 feet…
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