Th th th Jokes - page 343

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I SAW SIX MEN KICKING AND PUNCHING MY MOTHER IN LAW THE OTHER DAY, MY FRIEND ASKED IF I WAS GOING TO HELP I SAID NO SIX SHOULD BE ENOUGH!!

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A wild party

Sam sees the postman once a week, and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it’s total peace and quiet. After 6 months or so of almost total isolation, he’s finishing dinner one day when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing there. “Name’s Enoch… Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge… Having a party Saturday… Thought you’d like to come.” “Great,” says Sam, “after 6 months of this I’m ready…

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New Product Launch

One of the nation’s largest soup manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking American shelves this week with their newest soup creation, “Clinton Soup”, to honor one of the nation’s most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a small weenie in hot water.

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Relatives

A husband said to his wife, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like YOUR mother-in-law better than I like mine!”

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Airline Bloopers

From a disgruntled Airline employee…. “Welcome aboard ZZZ Airlines Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If…

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10 Reasons Why God Created Eve

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because he knew men would never ask directions. 9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don’t want to see what’s on television, they want to see WHAT ELSE is on television. 8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when the seat wore out and therefore would need Eve to get one for…

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